


Back To You

by fulminataspqr



Series: Race against Time [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Attempt at Humor, Character Death, Child Armin Arlert, Child Eren Yeager, Child Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Child Mikasa Ackerman, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Time Travel, Watch me ruin the plot of aot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27585433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fulminataspqr/pseuds/fulminataspqr
Summary: Levi Ackerman is dead.Or at least that's what he believes. But, if he's dead why is he standing in front of Mikasa Ackerman?And who got the idea to turn him into a ten-year-old 'cause this is not funny at all?!In which Humanity's Strongest tries not to complain about his predicaments while being trapped in Year 844
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman & Levi, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Levi
Series: Race against Time [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031802
Comments: 166
Kudos: 352





	1. Dying was not supposed to be fun

Levi Ackerman had always dreamt about his death that his actual death seemed so anticlimactic. There were a million ways he came up with that could kill him, yet, he never expected that he would die in the most boring way. If only he could crawl out of his grave and demand a proper way to lose his life.

It’s not as if he was complaining. Alright, _he was complaining._

Still, undoubtedly, Levi Ackerman was proven to be human despite his title as Humanity’s Strongest. Hange was probably laughing her heart out instead of grieving. His death was that comical.

The kicker of this stupid death of his was it’s unexpected. So unexpected that he didn’t even have the chance to say his last words.

“Excuse me? Hey! Wake up!”

It was a faint voice that gradually became louder and louder until Levi couldn’t handle the noise anymore.

“Shut up” He said. Tired and sore, he slowly opened his eyes. The sight of a little girl was the first thing he saw.

“A-angel? I’m really dead, huh” he whispered to himself

The little girl’s face twisted into confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Levi, who was still trying to grasp the reality that he’s actually dead, roamed his eyes around. He was in a wide field overlooking a magnificent view. Different species of flowers were scattered around the area like a splotch of paint, providing an artistic perspective to a living piece of art.

The air was fresh and the sun was warm. For the first time in his life, he felt at peace. Finally, he could rest without any worries regarding Titans or any distasteful matters that he painfully tolerated. Maybe, his death was not that worse. At least, he had an angel to accompany him.

“Hey!” His attention returned to the angel. Now that he’s fully awake he could fully discern her. Her hair had the most unusual shade of black that complimented her pale skin and gray eyes. He did not want to sound pedophilic but her lips looked so soft and pure. _So, this is what an angel looked like._

A strange inkling rushed inside him, a suspicion he couldn’t pinpoint. That shade of black, he swore that he saw it somewhere before. The way she crinkled her nose and the way she brushed a loose strand of her hair, somehow gave him a sense of familiarity.

“Are you..deaf?” She asked, flushed while doing some bizarre hand gestures. Probably, using her hands to convey whatever she was saying because Levi couldn’t absorb the words she was using.

“W-where am I? Who are you?” Levi asked because the situation was getting weirder with each passing second.

He knew that he’s dead, he felt it. The last air in his body seeping out and his bodily functions failing. That was a sign that you kicked the bucket, right?

“Huh? Are you lost, perhaps? You’re in the woods near Shiganshina”

His eyes grew wider than they ought to be when he heard what the girl just said. Shiganshina? Impossible. The Shiganshina he knew was wrecked by Titans five years ago and inhabitable for humans.

Unless…

“Oh, and I’m Mikasa. You are?”

His world stopped. The girl in front of him was Mikasa? But, Mikasa was already 15 and for heaven’s sake, he’s already dead!

“What kind of sick joke is this?!”

His gaze was fixed again on the supposed to be angel, who was now looking at him like he’s some kind of lunatic. He couldn’t blame her though. The whole situation could make him an actual lunatic.

He grabbed the shoulders of the girl. “Are you really Mikasa? Mikasa Ackerman?”

She slowly nodded her head, “Please remove your hands” she said, shaking.

Levi immediately withdrew his hands. He gaped when he raised his hand, examining it. His hands were small. It’s not that surprising considering that his hands had always been small. The most astounding thing was it was much smaller than what his 30-year-old hand would look like. His hands flew on his face, there were no stubbles and wrinkles, nothing at all. He also noticed that he’s the same height as Mikasa. He snorted. Did he become a 10-year-old or something? Now that would be funny.

_Oh no._

“W-what is the year today?”

“It’s Year 844”

Levi’s knees wobbled, as he felt his energy leaving his body. His ten-year-old body, to be precise.

Why couldn’t he just stay dead?!


	2. Send your complaints to someone who cares

Levi was carefully watching Mikasa helping her parents prepare a meal. Good thing the Ackermans—excluding him—were kind enough to accept his half-baked reason that his parents abandoned him, here in the woods.

He could not still believe that he was suddenly transported back in time. And to be transported in front of Mikasa Ackerman, his subordinate that hates him with every fiber of her being. This was worst than the time he was cornered on a Titan territory.

The cruelest thing out of all of this? He needed to wait for another growth spurt to at least have a little change in his pathetic height, Oh and also he has to experience puberty. Again.

Maybe he was dead already and this was his own personal time loop hell.

“You’re not from here” While trying to not roll his eyes, he nodded his head at Mikasa’s obvious conclusion. _Mikasa, no one would really abandon their kids near their home, would they?_

“Where are you from?”

“Mitras” Under Mitras, he wanted to say. “You’re far from home then, um name?”

“Levi”

“Levi?”

“Just Levi”

“What a weird name. Just Levi" He did not know if Mikasa was actually serious or this was her bad attempt at pulling a joke. Either way, it irritated him.

Apparently, dying in the most humiliating way was not enough punishment, they also have to make him endure Mikasa’s childish humor.

This whole concept of divine punishment was not sitting well with him, but it did make sense. After all, he did not lead a life full of kindness.

In the first place, who even in their right mind would pay attention to his tiny soul? He was not remotely interesting. There are far more intriguing characters out there to play with. _I don’t know, Hange? Or Mike? Maybe Erwin if they would like to play with a personified megaphone._

What Levi was trying to say was, this was so unfair, even by his standards. This returning-back-on-time-thing was at another level of mindfuckery. Also, why did he have to be a snotty ten-year-old? This was beyond what he imagined his afterlife would be.

His situation sucked, to say the least.

If there’s someone who’s really punishing him, they should just get over with it and zapped him with lightning. To some degree, being zapped with lightning was better than his own demise.

When he realized that Mikasa was still pondering about his name, he said,

"You can just call me Levi, nosy brat”

“Alright” After losing interest in him (which was too short, by the way) she returned to whatever she was doing. While he was back on observing her.

The 844-Mikasa looked so different from the Mikasa he knew. For starters, the Mikasa he knew would never, not the slightest chance, initiate a conversation with him unless she wanted to shove to him how short he was or how cruel he was for making Eren clean the mess hall. She also, certainly, did not have that cheerful aura.

This version of Mikasa was, in some ways, more…tolerable? If he looked past her tasteless comical aspect.

“Let’s eat” Her mother called a minute later.

The idea of sharing a meal with a mother and father was making him uncomfortable for some reason. Observing Mikasa’s family, Levi couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy. He didn’t exactly grow into a loving household like what Mikasa had.

“Do you not like the food, Levi?” He was pulled from his envious thoughts by her father’s question, “A-ah no. I like it. Delicious”

While chewing his delicious dinner, something snapped inside him, he literally choked on his food.

Shit. How could he forget very crucial information?

Mikasa’s parents were going to be killed.

Here’s where his panic set in.

Suddenly he regretted not paying attention when Eren told his squad about how he met Mikasa (Eren was not the best storyteller out there). A really shitty timing. Well, in his defense, he never knew that he would experience it first hand.

If his memory served him right, Mikasa was saved by Jaeger and that’s the only thing his brain processed. When and how her parents would be murdered was blurry to him.

Cursing silently for his own stupidity, he drew the attention of everyone at the table to him. “If there’s anything that bothers you, Levi, feel free to tell us”

“I was just sore from…something” Concerned for him, Mikasa’s mother caressed his face. He groaned inwardly for the cracking in his voice. Sucks to be a prepubescent boy.

“We’ll contact Dr. Jaeger to check you up”

Wait.

“Dr. Jaeger?”

“Yes. He’s a doctor in Shiganshina. He will visit next week but we can reschedule it the day after tomorrow so he can check what’s wrong with you”

The memory returned to him, _“When my father and I visited them, her parents were already dead”_

 _“_ No!” He cleared his throat. “No. I mean I’m fine. No need to call a doctor”

“Are you sure, dear?”

“Yes. Thank you”

After eating, Mikasa led him inside her room. “You’ll sleep on the floor”

He sighed and started to fix his futon. “I never have someone to play with,” What she just said made Levi paused.

Right, the kid did not have any friends. “Can you play with me tomorrow?”

Play? Ah, how could he phrase this in a way that would not sound freaky? A thirty-year-old man who died and went back on time while being trapped inside the body of his ten-year-old self, playing with a younger version of his subordinate?

Wow, that sounded far worse than he imagined. It’s definitely a no.

“N-” he was cut midway with her smile. Her beautiful smile. What the hell, Levi? You’re being persuaded by a ten-year-old girl’s smile?! That’s so low. Even the understanding Erwin would flip his wig. Too bad, he couldn’t see Erwin’s reaction now that he’s dead. Not _dead_ dead. Just dead. Okay, that did not make any sense.

Well, he’s also ten now so maybe, just hypothetically speaking, he could—

“Why did you punch yourself?!”

“Just to wake me up”

“So… It’s a yes or no?”

He sighed. He’s already being punished, what more they could bestow upon him? Make him a titan? He shivered on that thought.

Plus, it’s just playing with her. There’s no harm in having a good time.

“Okay” Mikasa couldn’t hide her excitement, she literally jumped on her bed.

This new (old?) Mikasa was maybe a little cute with that smile.

“Hey, Mikasa.”

“Yes?”

“That smile. It suits you”

He may never have the chance to tell her that.


	3. All work and no play makes Levi a dull boy

Never in his entire life would Levi envisioned himself spending three days with Mikasa's family. But things happened and here he was, playing ball with his rebellious subordinate in the meadow near her house.

"That's the lamest throw I have ever seen in my whole life," he said nonchalantly.

And staying there for three days gave Levi an ample amount of time to lay out his plan on saving Mikasa's parents. Yes, after careful and deliberate consideration, he decided to stay and try to prevent the death of Mikasa's parents.

The original plan was to go to Erwin and explain his situation but he doubted that his commander would believe a child like him in spite of his possessed intelligence.

Plus, considering the timeline of events, he guessed that he had his hands full already with the Survey Corps' messy business.

Also, this was the year that he was recruited into the dreaded branch of the military. He wondered how things would be different now that Erwin failed to acquire a soldier like him.

Mikasa puffed her cheeks in annoyance, picked up the ball, and gave Levi a death stare.

"Look who's talking. You can't even throw a ball without tripping yourself."

She indeed hit a nerve in him.

At least spare him from humiliation. It's not his fault that he had the strength of his ten-year-old self. He never realized that he was this week and dare he says it, puny.

If there's one thing that Levi could proudly boast about himself, besides his impeccable cleaning skills, it would be his strength. With his short stature and questionable background, it came as no surprise that no one could take him seriously. The only way to survive their scrutiny was through his combat prowess.

Bearing the title, Humanity's Strongest may be overwhelming, but it gave him the reassurance that he needed, and losing that leverage was a big blow to him.

If it's any consolation, it seems that Mikasa was not born either with her superhuman strength. The 850-Mikasa would probably destroy him in a ball throwing game. Probably.

"You're a brat. Did anyone tell you that?"She stuck her tongue out." And you're grumpy" and to prove her point, she squinted his eyes, enough to mimic his resting bitch face.

" 'Look at me. I'm Levi and I have this eerie facial expression that scares everyone. Bow down, mortals' "

"Real mature, Mikasa."

The irony of the situation bit him in the ass after registering that he, a grown-up man, was letting a ten-year-old girl get under his skin. _Real mature, Levi._

And he did not look like that. He was not that peevish. Perhaps, he was. But he would never admit that.

After laughing on her accurate (too accurate) representation of Levi, she loomed around him, poking his cheek. "Let's play hide and seek."

Look, he's done entertaining Mikasa. The kid could find someone else to mess with. When would Eren come into the picture? He's already tired of babysitting this scarf-wearing gloomy brat. Except, she was not wearing a scarf and definitely not gloomy.

He winced when he subconsciously yearned for 850-Mikasa's reserved personality.

"I'm tired" His poor body couldn't keep up with her constant need to play."Eh? Already? C’mon Levi! You promised that you would play with me,"

"I never promise anything. Move, brat, or else..."

"Or else what?" Her lips curled into a smirk, clearly challenging him. This kid had guts, he'll give her that. So even when she was a tiny brat, she had always been defiant. Amusing.

"Or else I'll make you eat dirt" Apparently, that declaration of his was not as scary as when he was still in Survey Corps. It only made Mikasa snickered. "That's funny."

What he just said was a little bit embarrassing now that he contemplated it. Slowly but surely, his reputation was being reduced to nothing. He should start gaining back control.

"Listen up, brat. I —"A scream coming from Mikasa's house interrupted both of them.

Fear and panic started to overcome Levi when he heard another scream. This time it was from a female. For a moment, his feet were glued to the ground.

He finally came to his senses when he saw Mikasa was about to run back into her house. He grabbed her arm and turned her around to make her faced him, "Wait, Mikasa!"

If there's one thing that Levi could admire about this cadet of his, besides her impeccable skill of annoying him, it would be her composure beyond any situation. That's why when he saw Mikasa's panic-stricken face, he almost wanted to pull her into a hug.

This Mikasa. She was everything Levi failed to see in his past life. He never witnessed her this frightened. Even when Eren was in danger, she was never this terrified.

Then again, she was not this young when she became a soldier.

"M-my mom, and dad. T-they... I need to see them!"He cupped her cheeks, trying to calm her down. He cursed when he saw how badly she was trembling. "We'll approach slowly. Calm down, we don't even know what happened."

He tried to contain his voice and not let any ounce of fear slipped from his tongue. But when his brain reminded him again of his body's frailty, his heart uncontrollably quivered. Because he knew, he couldn't protect her. Not now. Not when he was trapped in this body.

Yet, when his hands felt a hot liquid cascading down her face, he vowed to do everything in his power to save this little girl. Screw his shaking knees and his palpitating heart.

"Let's go" His hand grabbed her shuddering ones and they both went to the source of the shrieks.

Hand in hand, Mikasa and Levi stood frozen in the doorway and studied the startling scene before them. Blood stained the walls of the house and on the floor laid the lifeless body of Mikasa's parents and two unknown men.

They were not supposed to be killed yet. Dr. Jaeger's visit was scheduled for next week.

This may have something to do with Levi. He did not need to be a genius to figure out that he was messing with the timeline.

He pulled Mikasa and covered her eyes. "Don't look," he whispered. "N-no...n-n-no"

"Don't look, Mikasa, please" She removed his hands and he watched her stare in horror.

Levi became paralyzed when a man holding a knife, emerged from the kitchen. Smiling wickedly, he said, "There you are, you little piece of shit. I've been looking for you"

His body reacted on his own and tackled the man before he could even touch Mikasa, it made him stagger and lose his grasp on the knife. Levi quickly kicked the object away from him. "Listen to me, Mikasa! Run and save yourself. Go to the Jaegers. Eren— Eren will protect you. Go!"

He smiled weakly when he saw Mikasa running away.

"Get off me!" The man struck him with his foot sending him on the other side of the room. His whole body ached, and his vision was getting blurry.

Pushing his last remaining strength, he grabbed the nearest object and smacked it to his assailant's head.

"You bastard! Let's just see if you're still alive after this" It earned him a punch in the gut. Blood spurted from his mouth and nose and his consciousness was drifting away.

He knew right then that he would die again. Suddenly, he felt the need to laugh at how silly his situation was. He lived just to die again. But, at least he saved Mikasa's life.

This death was not that bad compared to his first death. No, this was what he wanted his death to be. To die honorably after saving someone.

He was about to accept his second death when he saw Mikasa. Shivering but determined. His eyes went down on the shiny object she was grasping tightly.

"Stupid girl! I told you to save yourself!"

"I can't leave you behind!" His eyes widened when he understood what she was about to do. "Because you became my first friend, Levi."

The knife in her hand glistened, her strides heavier, her senses heightened, and her reflexes improved.

She screamed before charging headfirst.

A dormant power had just woken up inside her.


	4. It is not ethical to steal from someone

He was convinced now that the world hates him. He was certain that some entity was out to get him. Very certain that if only his whole body was not aching right now, he would probably cuss whoever that got this idea of moronic attempt on punishing him. Totally uncool.

Arguably, he was a bit exaggerating with the 'hate' part.

No one could blame him for his exasperation though. After experiencing a humiliating death, he was now bedridden to some unknown place, too tired to even open his eyes.

Speaking of body aches, the last time he felt this horrible was when he was still in Underground. He already forgot how awful it was. Good thing, the bed was comfortable. Wait, bed?

"Is he awake?"

"Not yet. Why don't you rest first, Mikasa? I'll take care of him"

"No"

"But-"

"No"

Pain shoot through his body again when he tried to wake up. The moment he successfully opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was light. Blinding, irritating light.

For a short while, his brain could only manage incoherent mumblings, then when he tried to sit, a gentle hand on his chest prevented him.

Mikasa Ackerman was not exactly the best subordinate out there. Yes, she was undeniably strong and loyal. Levi would sometimes admire how refined her skills were despite her age. But, the one thing that dented her almost-too-perfect soldier status was her impulsiveness when it came to Eren.

And when Levi saw the nostalgic piece of garment situated on her neck, he felt a weird itch to burn the filthy scarf.

Beside her was a middle-aged man that Levi guessed was a doctor with his countenance. His whole personality just screamed 'I'm a doctor'. Also, he was wearing a stethoscope.

His gaze fell upon the interior of the room he was in. There's nothing special in it, no indication that it was an infirmary or hospital. He finally deduced that the place was the doctor's house.

"Are you alright? Where are you hurting?" The doctor asked. Levi pointed his stomach and the doctor quickly examined it.

At the same time, Mikasa was observing them, she was clearly worried sick with the way she fumbled on her scarf.

He cleared his throat. "S-scarf"

"What?" She looked at him with surprise.

"W-where did you get that?"

As if on cue, a boy the same age as her entered the room.

"Yo"

"Eren" He could recognize that tuft of brown hair and green eyes anywhere.

Shock was registered on his face. "You know me?"

Shit. He could be really dumb sometimes. Well, there was a reason why he was not called Humanity's Smartest.

Saying Eren's name piqued not just Mikasa's curiosity but also the doctor, who was still examining the fresh bruise on his stomach. Levi fleetingly noticed the hesitation in his touch.

Both kids and Eren's father were waiting for his answer as to why he recognized Eren. He couldn't really say that he would kick him in a courtroom six years from now to save his titan ass. Actually, he could. But dealing with his injuries was taking a toll on his overall mental fortitude. So he said the most used word in his vocabulary,

"No"

"But you just said my name"

"I did not"

"Eren, let's leave the two of them alone"

Dr. Jaeger met Levi's steel-blue eyes. He couldn't read the expression dancing on the doctor's orbs. It was mixed between recognition and uncertainty. Why would the doctor look at him that way? He had no idea.

Eren was reluctant to leave but his father already steered him outside the room before he could even protest.

When the Jaegers left the room, Mikasa shifted from her chair and settled on the right side of Levi's bed.

"I know that you recognized Eren. You said his name...yesterday"

Yesterday? Levi ran his hand over his face. He was basically useless for 24 hours. "You seem to be tied to him in a way that words can't describe"

He forgot how sharp Mikasa was. No, he was not this sharp a few days ago. 

Something changed in her.

Even so, he has much more important matters on his mind. For instance, Mikasa's welfare.

"Never mind that. How are you?"

Her posture became tensed and her eyes were masked with apathy. Suddenly, Levi saw the 850-Mikasa in 844-Mikasa. And he did not like it.

He did not want to see her this detached from reality.

"I'm fine"

"No. You're not. Mikasa, you're parents just got murdered. Anyone —"

"I'm fine!"

Silence intervened between them until Mikasa decided to break it.

"I don't want to be weak anymore", she said meekly

Levi sighed. "Grieving won't make you weak, brat. Cry"

"I won't"

"It's alright to cry sometimes. It won't make you any less of a person"

Her attempt on controlling her emotional outburst went futile when his hand found the top of her head.

Levi was taken aback when Mikasa tackled him into a hug. She cried her heart out as Levi stroked her hair. There were no words spoken between them but pure understanding.

And although, he sucked at cheering people up, the captain tried his best to convey to his cadet that everything would be alright through his presence.

As his hands gently move over her smooth hair, the little girl's sobs gradually turn into soft breathing until her body relaxed under his arms giving away that she was now under the spell of sleep.

Levi carefully laid her on the bed.

He smoothen the crease on her forehead and wiped away the tears that were still streaming down her face.

"You must be really important to her", said Eren who was leaning on the door frame.

"How did we end up here?"

"She carried you"

"What?!"

"She was crying while begging my father to treat you"

He was speechless and ashamed.

"I saw her once before" a revelation from Eren moved Levi to eye him with confusion.

If he remembered correctly, Eren told him that the first time he saw Mikasa was when her parents got murdered. His statement was not making any sense at all. He was about to ask what he meant when his expression changed.

"She was not that...distant"

Levi felt Mikasa reached for him. Her hands were freezing and she was curled like a fetus. Even in her sleep, it was clear that the memories of her parents were haunting her.

He clenched his teeth.

_"Levi, promise me that you'll take care of Mikasa"_

_His hands stopped cleaning the table and faced Mikasa's mother._

_"Call this a mother's intuition, but I feel that I can trust you with my daughter's life" She laughed. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"_

_He did not answer._

_"There's a hollow feeling inside me that I can't ignore. Why do I feel like we're about to leave Mikasa?_

_"I don't want to feel this way. I want to spend more time with her," She said as if she was talking to someone far away. Her voice was melancholic and her gaze was fixated outside._

_"I'll take care of her"_

_She smiled warmly at him. "Thank you, Levi"_

~

Eren Jaeger was not the most pleasant kid in Shiganshina. His mother, Carla, would always complain to his dad, about his interest in picking fights either with an adult or a child like him.

Sometimes, he would come home with scratches and bruises and his dad would jest about how he seemed to exploit his profession.

However, when a girl knocked on their door, carrying a wounded boy on his back, crying and begging, he felt an instant connection with her.

_"Are you cold?" He asked even though it was clear as day that she was._

_She was shivering._

_It irked him when she just glanced over him, not bothering on answering him. When he followed her line of vision, he saw the subject of her interest._

_"Is that your brother?" He asked, referring to the boy his father was tending to._

_She shook her head and that made him feel glad because he finally got a reaction from her._

_"I have nowhere left to go," She said out of the blue._

_Eren has never seen such sad eyes before, never felt such misery coming from a human being._

_His hands moved on its own and wrapped the scarf he was wearing, on her neck._

_"This is yours now. Is it warm enough?"_

_"It is"_

_His cheeks reddened when it occurred to him that she just smiled._

Until he saw her smile, he did not realized that he caught a glimpse of her before. Before anything else, in his dreams at night when the quietness of the surroundings would fill him up.

His eyes swept over Levi with faint distaste. He couldn't help receiving the impression that he was being cheated out of something.

But, he quickly pull himself together and shook off such nonsense.

**_If I died, what would become of you?_ **

**_"Let's go home, quick. Our home"_ **

_**"Yes. Let's go"** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy stuff wooooo


	5. When you're thirty, you're always cranky especially when you're surrounded by children

Levi Ackerman was once again in peril. Well, considering everything that happened to him these past few days, this _peril_ was the riskiest so far.

"Stop fidgeting, Mikasa! I swear to the walls if you won't stop—"

His whole body convulsed with annoyance when the bowl of porridge fell on the floor. In his attempt to feed the little girl, he was almost kicked in the face. He did not sign up for this danger. Much, much, dangerous than when he fought Kenny and his toy soldiers. At least, he did not need to force-feed Kenny.

"I don't want to eat"  
"I said, eat"

Mikasa shook her head.

Were all Ackermans this hardheaded? Or it was just him and Mikasa? A silly question knowing that the two of them were the remaining Ackermans, now that his uncle bit the dust. He got no one to compare with. Or maybe he has since Kenny Ackerman was still alive in this timeline. Very, unfortunately alive.

Yesterday, Dr. Jaeger told him that his companion has not even touched her food ever since he was bedridden. They tried to coerce her into eating but they were just answered with a big fat no. The doctor, whose name was Grisha, also notified him about Eren's failed attempt at cheering Mikasa up.

This is odd for Levi since Mikasa was practically Eren's shadow.

Levi always complained to Erwin about the gloomy brat's over-attachment to the titan shifter. The commander would just laugh at him. Now that he would think about it, Erwin, as strange as it may seem, never listened to him. That eyebrows, just did everything he wanted to do. For example, overthrowing the monarchy.

Before Grisha left him, he said something to Levi that bothered him to a great degree. _Don't block the path._

If he's not a ten-year-old now and uninjured, he would pounce the doctor and forced him to explain what he just said.

Then that's where his another panic set in.

Grisha Jaeger was a titan. In this timeline, he was the current holder of the Attack Titan and soon, the Founding Titan. He was an important piece of humanity's survival. Because of that, Levi was once again reminded of what would happen in Year 845. The fall of Wall Maria. He and Erwin were not there when the Armored and Colossal Titan breached it. On the morning before the fall, Erwin Smith became the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps and he became the Captain of Special Ops.

He needed to move fast. He already failed in saving Mikasa's parents and he wouldn't let himself fail again.

Levi sighed. "You haven't eaten since yesterday"

"And you should be resting," she replied indignantly. Actually, Levi's injury was healing quickly, considering that it was not that serious.

"I would if you're not this stubborn"  
"I just don't have the appetite"

Kids these days. They never knew the feeling of being hungry with nothing to eat.

When Levi was an actual ten-year-old, he was malnourished. His "guardian" would sometimes provide him food if he's lucky enough to scavenge some in the barren Underground or if he's in a good mood.

Life was tough for young Levi and due to that fact, he forced himself to develop adeptness at survival in Underground's harsh conditions. He, most of all, understood the importance of being able to eat without any worries about tomorrow's meal.

So, he took the liberty of feeding Mikasa despite her thrashing and refusals. At this rate, he'll become an old man with all the stress he was getting from her.

_Great, maybe I'll be 30 again after feeding her._

He clicked his tongue when her eyes started drooping. "I told you to sleep! Eat and sleep. That's not too hard, isn't it? You need to take care of yourself, stupid girl"

His annoyance quickly dissolved at the very moment that her demeanor changed.

Perhaps, he was being too hard on her. Hange would sometimes tell him that his empathy was defined differently and he would reply that no one actually taught him the right way. Then, Erwin would interject that empathy couldn't be taught rather it was innate. He did not make any sense at all.

And times like this, he wished that he at least tried on developing some empathy skills especially when it comes to little girls who just lost their parents.

Guilt bloomed inside him when it occurred to him that Mikasa has been taking care of him that made her neglect sleeping and eating.

Levi coughed to clear the air. "You wanted to be strong, right?"

She nodded her head.

"Then, eat gloomy brat"

She was hesitant at first but after some (encouraging) glares from Levi, she took a bite of the bread. While eating, Levi noticed something.

"Where's your scarf?"  
"I don't know. I removed it because it was too hot"

The former captain stared in shock. Was this really Mikasa Ackerman? The 850-Mikasa would kill him if he touched that scarf (Which he won't because he could imagine the number of germs it accumulated throughout the years) because it was too important for her.

Levi was spared from his shock when Carla Jaeger entered the room, with a basin on her hands and some clothes.

"Mikasa, come here. I'll help you wash up." The raven-haired girl jumped to her feet.

Levi's eyes widened when Mikasa started to undress. "Stupid! Why are you removing your clothes in front of a man?!" He reprimanded, with his eyes closed and cheeks blushed.

Mikasa, on the other hand, was confused with his behavior.

His mortification deepened when Carla giggled. "You sound like Eren. He always insists that he is already a man"

Oh, if only he could say that he was in fact a _man._

_Levi, a man wouldn't blush at a sight of a little girl undressing._

This ten-year-old brain of his was starting to get on his nerves.

"You can open your eyes now, Mr. Levi" Carla teased.

He pursed his lips. _It's Captain Levi._

~

"This is Armin. Armin, this is Mikasa, and uh...Leo?"

"It's Levi, kid."

Today was the day Levi got discharged. His injuries were healed enough for him to go outside. Because of that, Eren decided to introduce his friend to them.

Armin Arlert was an impressive soldier. Not because of his gallantry nor his ODM skills, but because of how intricate his mind worked.

Armin smiled at them and Levi did not have the heart to tell him that he would shoot someone six years from now. He could stay as innocent as a lamb for now.

"You're a kid too, you know. Also, how old are you? 7? Could've fooled me with your height" Eren remarked, with his hands folded across his chest and smugness on his tone, resembling a naughty child.

_Wrong move, Jaeger._

Levi could easily brush off his impoliteness if he had not been like this since yesterday. He would accidentally bump into him, glared at him during dinner, and threw comments about his height.

"You should really watch your mouth, kid"

As they faced each other Armin could see little resemblance between them. Eren's green eyes were contrasting oddly with Levi's steel-blue ones, but they were somehow alike. Mutual aggression made them alike.

Captain Levi clenched his fist on how he, with no difficulty, towered over him. The cadet who was shaking at the mere sight of him and basically worshipped him was provoking him. What a bizarre twist of events.

But he was years ahead of him and Levi would not be threatened by a rebellious kid. Not in this lifetime, at least.

"C-calm d-down both of you" Armin tried to get between the two of them but his shaking and stuttering were hindering his purpose. That's when Mikasa decided to intervene. "Stop" she grabbed Eren by his collar and yanked him off.

"Let go of me!"

Alright, Mikasa was years ahead of him in this timeline. Were all the kids in Shiganshina this...enthusiastic?  
He came up with the conclusion that Shiganshina kids were aberrant.

Mikasa let go of Eren with a flick of her wrist. "That hurts, Mikasa!"

Quickly realizing her actions, Mikasa helped Eren to stand up and mumbled her apologies. Armin helped too.

While scrutinizing them, the ten-year-old captain became aware of the trio's dynamics. He couldn't explain it but the three of them fit together like puzzle pieces. Eren, Armin, and Mikasa were undoubtedly interconnected by an invisible string.

Moreover, he couldn't explain it but he felt like an intruder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering, Levi died after the Uprising Arc and just right before the start of Return to Shiganshina Arc. That's why he knew about Grisha being the Attack Titan and other things such as Kenny being his uncle.
> 
> By the way, do you have any idea how Levi died? Any guesses? 
> 
> Also, the part where it was written that he became the captain of survey corps' special ops was just my hypothesis. But, the Erwin-becomes-commander part was canon.
> 
> It's still not clear to me why the Survey Corps or Levi were nowhere to be found during the Fall of Wall Maria. In the attack on titan wiki, it was stated that the Survey Corps were "drastically reduced in numbers" due to an expedition. If anyone could enlighten me, please do so.
> 
> Anywaaaaaaaaay, thank you for supporting this fanfiction. Love you all ❤️


	6. Pettiness begets pettiness

The idea of intrusion was not an unknown concept for the ten-year-old Captain. People from the Underground were not exactly welcome above. They were isolated, belittled, and mocked. And as someone was born and bred in the subterranean city, Levi was not exempted from the stereotypes tied to his hometown.

That being the case, it was an unspoken rule that people from the Underground were nothing but trespassers where they were not allowed to go anywhere. They just spend the rest of their lives rotting in the god-forsaken city.

Indeed, the thought of someone uninvited can be the most distressing aspect for people living inside the walls.

Intrusion was a serious case in Paradis Island. It was not to be taken easily. Especially when intrusion may mean titans or in Levi's case, an escapee from Underground.

He might as well be the Titan and the three kids in front of him were the walls. He was not allowed to enter, not allowed to get near. Because he was an intruder. Simple as that. The image of him as a titan made him winced.

In the first place, he should not be there. He did not belong with those Shiganshina trios. He was just going to ruin what they have, if not, he already ruined their dynamics. Mikasa was not as affectionate with them because of his uninvited appearance. They were supposed to be her first friends not him.

"Levi?"

His thoughts came to halt when Mikasa showed him her concerned face. Behind her were Armin's curious stares and Eren's impatient glares.

Right, it was not his fault that he was hauled back on Year 844. It was not his fault that Mikasa wanted to be his friend. It was not his fault that he wanted to be selfish for once.

After all, intruders never felt any remorse for being involved in a situation in which they were not welcomed.

"Eren wanted us to come with him to the gate."

"Gate? Is there anything interesting there?"

Eren puffed his chest, "The Survey Corps was going outside the walls!"

~

He missed it. The cramps he felt when he was riding his horse for too long, the uneasiness when they opened the gates, and the prickly feeling of freedom.

As he watched the fluttering of the Survey Corps' green hood, he couldn't help but sigh.

Because, despite the danger that lurked outside the walls, Levi never felt freer when he's riding his horse and his ODM gear making those screeching sounds.

It already felt like forever.

"I will join the Survey Corps!" Eren's declaration received surprised looks from his three companions.

Captain Levi crossed his arms, "You won't survive outside the walls."

Even though he was aware that Eren has the highest chance of surviving outside the walls with his titan power, a little snarky comment would put him in place.

Eren just rolled his eyes and told him that he did not need his opinion. Armin sensed that the two boys might start with their argument again, so he decided to talk with the only girl in their group to divert the attention.

"How about you, Mikasa? Do you want to join the Survey Corps?" He asked which was immediately answered by Mikasa's no.

Her answer caught the attention of Levi and Eren.

"Because I don't want to die," she replied when Eren asked her why.

Her reply was spoken in a matter-of-fact tone, it made Levi uneasy for some reason. There were only two Mikasa he currently knew:

The 850-Mikasa aka The Girl Worth a Hundred Soldiers, whose main purpose was to protect Eren while maintaining her scarf-wearing appearance. 850-Mikasa viewed him as her personal enemy since he made Eren's tooth flew away from his mouth.

The 844-Mikasa, who he just learned was not interested at all in joining the Survey Corps. He wondered if that would affect the string of events. When it comes down to it, Mikasa Ackerman was an important piece for the scouting regiment. She was a genius for her age that even Levi was forced to recognize.

He also heard that Captain Kitz Woermann from the Garrison regiment had second thoughts about killing Eren because it would be a loss for humanity if she would die right there protecting the titan shifter with her indisputable strength.

Her skills were that indispensable.

"Do you want to be a soldier, Levi?" Mikasa asked. Her eyes were begging him to say no. Jeez, they're just a bunch of ten-year-olds. There's no need for that question.

"No. I never wanted to be a soldier." He heard Eren's _coward_ and was about to lecture him when a sight of a familiar shade of ash blond and pigtails fall past in his peripheral vision.

"Farlan? Isabel?" _It can't be. Impossible._

A million things were playing on his mind upon the realization that his two friends were serving in the military.

It slipped in his mind, that both of them were still alive in this timeline. And it never occurred to him that they would be recruited.

They would not be alive for too long though.

Fear slowly crept into his heart. He couldn't let them die again.

He squeezed past between the people. He heard Mikasa calling him but it was faint. His brain was too focused on his two former companions that he never noticed a figure till it towered over him.

"Do you need anything?"

In all its glory, Commander, no, Captain Erwin Smith.

Levi was stunned, unable to say something to his friend and commander.

"Who is this kid? Is he yours?" One of the soldiers asked to which Erwin said, "No. I don't even know him. What's your name boy?"

His icy blue eyes were scrutinizing him, calculating his intention for blocking their procession.

With his striking gaze, Levi felt like an actual ten-year-old, petulant, and small. Once again, the stinky smell of the mud where he was pinned down when Erwin caught him lingered on his nostrils.

"Levi!" He looked behind him and there were Eren, Mikasa, and Armin looking at him confusedly for his sudden behavior. He smiled innocently, "Ah! Sorry, Commander!" He tried his best to sound childish.

"Commander?"

Shoot. Careless Levi struck again.

Good thing, one of the soldiers called Erwin to assume a position on the front before Levi could formulate an answer. 

He tried to crane his neck to search for Isabel and Farlan but they were nowhere to be found.

Erwin gave Levi one last look before maneuvering his horse.

"Do you know Captain Smith, Levi?"

His jaw clenched, "No." 

He watched Erwin's back until it became smaller and smaller.

~

On their way home, the thought of Farlan and Isabel was still occupying his mind. 

No matter how he mulled about it, he couldn't think of a reason for them to join the Survey Corps. There's also a small part of his brain whispering about their imminent death. It was not helping at all.

He wanted to save them, but he knew it was impossible and it left him frustrated. As frustrated as he was when he was injured during the fight against the female titan.

Even during their dinner, he was completely distracted.

As though she has a sixth sense, Mikasa found him on the roof of the Jaeger's house where he escaped to clear his head after his meals.

"Something's bothering you." Was the first thing she said when she found a comfortable position on the roof. "Even Eren noticed it." Ah, that's why Eren was not shooting daggers at him. 

He remained silent, basking in the moonlight when he felt Mikasa's slight shivering due to the cold night air and he sighed. Her scarf was nowhere to be found again, it somehow made her eccentric.

He clasped their hands together, which elicited an astounding reaction from the little girl.

The quietness persisted since he could think of nothing else to say to her. In fact, he could never think of anything to say to her. Especially, when he was still preoccupied with several things.

His boring and stupid death, his sudden time travel, his ten-year-old body, Eren's hostility towards him, Grisha's mystery, Farlan and Isabel, and Erwin's intimidating character.

He flicked Mikasa's forehead just after he recognized worries in her eyes. "What was that for?!" She asked, caressing her reddened forehead.

"Mikasa. Do you like it here?" Mikasa was uncertain how to answer for a while. The death of her parents was still fresh in her mind. The sight of their lifeless body, the coppery scent of fresh blood, and the fear in her mother's corpse was until this time haunting her.

"Carla is sweet..." She started. "...and Dr. Jaeger is kind. Eren may be annoying but he was still friendly with me. So, yes. I like it here."

"Do you want to stay here?"  
"Do you?"

He flicked her forehead again. Levi almost laughed when he saw her eyes turning misty with her lips pouting. _Cute_.

"Stupid. You are your own person. If you want to stay with the Jaegers then stay, regardless of my decision"

The corners of Mikasa's mouth slowly turned down. "You're leaving me, aren't you?"

Mikasa's sullen face was enough to make Levi panic. "W-what? No!"

"Really?" She asked while stifling a sob. Levi laughed. "Stop laughing!"

But he couldn't stop laughing, not when Mikasa looked so cute. So adorable that he wanted to squish her into a hug. Who knew that The Girl Worth a Hundred Soldier could make such a charming face like that. Wonders never cease.

He should hug her. He had to, right?There wasn't anything else that made any more sense besides that.

But, the better part of him told him not to do it or he would live his life regretting about it.

All of his trepidations about his miserable life were all dismissed because nothing could distract him right now from the endearing view that he had the privilege to witness.

"I would not leave you, gloomy brat."

Oh, he would not dream of doing that. After all, he was right where he has to be.

His plan was set in motion and the first thing he has to do was to inspect Grisha Jaeger's basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister @snackerman did a fanart for this chapter. Check it out ^^
> 
> https://snackerman.tumblr.com/post/640828414157373440/january-20-2021


	7. Sleep helps a child grow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may contain minor spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Levi was used to weird things that nothing could ever surprise him anymore. It's not like he was immune to it, he just decided to be indifferent.

He would not even bat an eye if someone would tell him that titans could fly or that Erwin trimmed his eyebrows. The latter being more impossible. Perhaps, he should stop antagonizing the poor Commander's eyebrows.

In addition to this, being Hange's self-proclaimed friend has its own perks, it practically prepared him for any surreal situations since it was inevitable to escape from her bizarre experiments. The time-traveling stuff was beyond the _surreal situations category_ so he wouldn't talk about that nor his unfortunate reverse aging.

But, nothing ever prepared him for the sight presented to him.

The ground beneath him was glowing and when he looked up, a trail of lights above the sky that seemed to be never-ending greeted him.

In the middle of the unknown place, stood a pillar of light with branches spreading towards every direction. It was a sight to behold, albeit otherworldly.

Below the said pillar was a young girl. With her back on him, he couldn't make out what was she doing. When he squinted his eyes, he saw her molding something out of the sands. He shook his head when he thought that she was shaping the sand into a figure of a man. Because that would be unusual. Then again, the whole situation was already outlandish on its own.

Bright light from the pillar nearly blinded him. It dampened a little bit. Afterward, before he knew it, his feet were already moving in her direction.

He wasn't able to explain it but some invisible force was pulling him closer to her. His hand involuntarily reached for her shoulder and he leaped backward immediately after he had a clear view of her face; the sockets where her eyes should be were empty.

And as she opened her mouth, instead of a young girl's cadence, a flat and penetrating voice came out.

_"Captain, you're in my way."_

He bolted upright, gasping for air while clutching his chest. Relief surge through him when he saw the familiar interior of Eren's room.

His eyes darted on the boy sleeping next to him and he almost staggered when a realization hit him.

The little girl sounded similar to Eren.

~

After his peculiar dream, Levi never slept again. Regardless of how many sheep he counted, the spell of sleep never affected him. It was useless, his whole body was already fully-awake.

The sleeping body of Eren beside him, conjured up unpleasant flashbacks about sands and lights which further contribute to his restlessness. Somebody put the pitiful captain to sleep.

Also he would be totally lying if he said that Farlan and Isabel were not occupying his mind. Because they were. Actually, the image of Isabel's severed head and Farlan's half-eaten body was what kept him occupied last night. Under the moonlight peeking on the window of Eren's bedroom, Levi busied himself with various things, trying to divert his mind from morbid thoughts.

On the spur of moment, the _basement_ crossed his mind. The basement that spearheaded the Survey Corps' desire to retake Wall Maria. Levi must learn the secrets sealed there. If ever, he might return on Year 850, he could tell Erwin what's in there. _If ever._

He sighed and was quite surprised that his brain did not combust with all of his overthinking.

Next, Levi tried to recall his few happy memories, including the time when Hange punched an MP or when Erwin's voice cracked while having a serious speech. His squad's rare playfulness and Mikasa's childlike innocence.

And somehow, it soothed him.

The result of not getting a wink of sleep has apparently a big toll on his small body. Adults have it easy with their developed structures and all. Suddenly he was regretting the days he took his sleep for granted. Especially, when he was still on his original timeline. 

"Did you have a nice sleep?" Carla asked when she noticed the dark bags under his eyes. He muttered a yes and went on stabbing the poor egg on his plate. Lying came so easily to him, nowadays.

Meanwhile, Mikasa was looking at him with pure concern.

"You look awful," Eren commented and proceeded to take a bite of his bread.

Levi shuddered when Eren's voice reminded him again of the unknown place and the little girl in his dream. "Please, shut up." He groaned.

His head started to throb.

Mikasa seemed to be asking him about something but he couldn't fully discern it, not when his head felt so heavy. His senses became dull and distorted like he was submerged underwater. Any moment now he would probably faint.

A hand on his forehead brought back his senses. "What happened to him?"

As soon as he determined who asked the question, he quickly swatted the hand away. "Get your filthy hand away from me." He snarled with gritted teeth.

Grisha Jaeger gave him a look, he hadn't expected his sudden hostility even the people around the table have the same puzzled expression.

Levi clamped his jaw tight, straining his neck muscles. There's no valid reason for his aggression but his survival instinct when it comes to danger.

Kenny Ackerman once told him that there was a moment in his life where all his senses would heighten up and knew exactly what needs to be done. He called it _awakening_.

As an Ackerman, he also experienced the _awakening_ and he assumed that Mikasa had also _awakened her power._ Basically,it was his Ackerman blood that reacted negatively to Grisha's touch.

Now, the real question was why would his body perceived Dr. Jaeger as an enemy?

"Levi?" Mikasa called, which distracted him from his oblivion. That's just when he noticed their baffled looks. "S-sorry."

"Levi, let my husband examined you." Carla tried to implore. "What's wrong with you?" Eren asked, but there's a lack of concern in it. He was quickly reprimanded by Carla for his insolence.

Meanwhile, Grisha was determining him with wariness. "Are you alright, Levi?" His question was monotonous yet the underlying implication did not escape Levi's attention. Subtly, figuring him out. Like a real doctor, dissecting his every layer.

He's good, Levi mused.

Grisha Jaeger may appear meek but he was nothing of that sort. He could appear as anything he wanted and no one would suspect him. A real titan, indeed.

"I'm fine, Dr. Jaeger," Levi assured. "I'm just tired."

"Then, take a rest."

Levi Ackerman could only name a few things that scared him. Such as dirty corners he couldn't reach, empty tea canisters, Hange's hair, and Mike's nostrils. If nothing else, they were just minute and meaningless pet peeves, so he wouldn't exactly use the word ' _scary_ '.

However, when Grisha Jaeger smiled at him, a shiver ran down his spine and he learned the true meaning of fear. "Could I have a word with you, Levi?"   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Could I have a word with you, Levi?"  
> "No."
> 
> The end. 
> 
> There wasn't a rivamika moment here in this chapter. I was going to insert a conversation between them but it felt unnatural and out of place so I deleted it. Peace.
> 
> Also, the next chapter might be posted next next week since our academic break already ended and regular classes will start again on monday. 
> 
> While waiting for chapter 8, why not visit my tumblr account (ehem shameless plugging ehem) where you can find my rivamika ficlets and you can also ask me questions.
> 
> http://fulminataspqr.tumblr.com
> 
> See you on the next update! Stay safe everyone❤️


	8. Is it really hard to say 'sex' in front of children?

Captain Ackerman has a lot of problems. Being a 5'3 male with eyesight problems and a disturbing attitude was the least of his worries. As a matter of fact, the Captain was facing a complication that would make him snort if someone told him about it years ago or years from now.

Bullshit, as he might've said. However, this 'bullshit' escalated quickly into a full-scale pain in his arse. Psych! Before he could even say 'Erwin's eyebrows', he was already trapped in a mess that he wanted to prevent from the very start of this fanfiction. It's actually ironic when he would think about it.

It's like he was walking on a titan territory and any mistake would result in his death. Granted that he was straight off in a titan territory and he would prefer death over this reality.

Following his analogy, Captain Levi must be careful. Careful of his words, actions, and thoughts. Because every step he would take in Year 844 might affect his future if he would still have one.

Ah, he could feel his ass has been beaten pretty well with all the continuous drawbacks being sent to that direction.

Since he's already screwed, he replied to Grisha's question:

"What for?"

Grisha beamed gently and pat his head and it took everything he has to not slapped it away again. It seemed like Grisha noticed the tension in his muscles and withdrew his hand in the same manner as he would do when a rabid dog was about to bite him.

"I just need to ask something. It wouldn't take much of your time."

In the end, Levi nodded, barely a dip of his chin.

"See you this evening, then." Grisha crossed the distance between the dining and their room with few strides and gave everyone a nod before closing the door.

Time stood still for Levi even though Carla called him to finish his breakfast or when Mikasa frowned at him for ignoring her. Finally, a knock on the door pulled him from his reverie.

A tuft of blonde hair peered through the window and when Carla opened the door, Armin Arlert greeted everyone with a grin on his face.

Eren immediately dragged Mikasa. By extension, it meant that Levi also joined because Mikasa wouldn't leave him to brood all day which he already planned to do.

The four of them made their way through Shiganshina's market and to the gate. When Levi asked where they were going, Eren told him that it was a secret and claimed to have the best view ever.

Levi doubted that.

Their little adventure came to halt when they reached a river. Eren was about to cross it when Levi stopped him. The body of water was clearly dangerous with its fast current and pointy rocks. Of course, the brunette scowled at him.

"I hope that you've got it through your thick head that you'll die before you could even cross that." Armin also joined in stopping Eren to cross the river because even a blind person would notice how dangerous it was.

"That looks dangerous," Mikasa interjected which almost convinced him but he stood his ground.

Eren, once again told them that it's fine. "Don't blame us when your skull cracked open."

"Scared?" He challenged, chin jutted forward.

_Scared of kicking your face? Yes._

Levi forgot how reckless kids could be or how impulsive Eren was and as the only adult present, it was his duty to prevent them from doing stupid things that may harm them. So, he clutched his collar and said, "Eren, you have to think about these things."

Suddenly, he was reminded of the time when he was in-charge of Eren's safety. He would never admit it but Eren was one of the cadets he could tolerate. After all, Levi was the one who served as his mentor and would often listen to his nonsense. Even giving him advice about his choices.

Everyone saw how he patiently dealt with the titan shifter's recklessness; saving him when he's in danger.

He has got to have like spidey senses for Eren.

Eren removed his hands forcefully. He walked near the edge of the river, studying it as if deciding how best to cross it, frowning and scratching his head. "Fine!"

He turned around and Mikasa, Armin, and Levi followed on his heels.

At last, they settled on a meadow just near the river. Armin suggested that they play tag which Levi opposed but was still roped in when Mikasa slapped his back and said, "It!"

Leaving him with no choice but to join because he hates to lose. Without any difficulty, he tagged Eren next as revenge for his attitude towards him. Captain Levi could be grudging sometimes.

Puffing and wheezing, the four children sat under the only tree. They were all sweaty from running under the sun but somehow it didn't bother the clean freak inside the captain. He wouldn't want to sound childish but he enjoyed it a little, the running. Just a little.

After steadying her breath, Mikasa stood up and asked, "Hey, how are babies made?"

Levi choked on his saliva. "W-wha—why?"

And as the only adult present, it was his duty to educate them about sensitive topics such as babymaking. But, he was not an adult right now. He's a kid like them. It would be weird if he would tell them about 'lock and key', right? Or he was trying to assure himself because he couldn't explain it, at least not to children. In his defense, he was never been in a presence of a child curious about babies.

"Babies are from flowers. The bees carry pollen and deposit it into the flower." Eren said confidently.

Which Levi thought demonstrated a really shocking lack of awareness of how babies were made.

"They were not carried by birds?" Mikasa asked, puzzled by Eren's explanation. "How could a bird carry a baby? It would be too heavy."

The little girl nodded her head like a diligent student. "I see."

Levi facepalmed. So, this was what parents feel when their children asked them about sex. Eren's euphemism may be ridiculous but that saved Levi from humiliating himself.

A laugh from Armin surprised Levi and the glint in his blue eyes gave away that Armin knew how babies were made.

The sun was already setting when Levi declared that their playtime was over.

Eren volunteered to accompany Armin home leaving Mikasa with Levi.

While walking, he saw a ghost of a smile on her lips. "You look happy." He mused but still, Mikasa heard it.

Her face was flushed due to exhaustion and the remaining glow of the sun accentuated her euphoric eyes. "Yes." She murmured and Levi noticed the slight hesitation. He understood her reluctance.

Happiness could be scary sometimes especially when you're too happy. When you're happy you unconsciously dropped your walls and Mikasa didn't want that.

He stopped walking. "Wh—ouch!" The little girl caressed her forehead which he just flicked.

"I told you before, right? That smile suits you." Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second until her face slowly relaxed into a smile.

With the sunset behind her, the Captain wasn't sure which was more beautiful. But, if he would pick one, there would be no competition. It would always be her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that the next chapter would be posted next week but I couldn't resist writing this chapter. Hehe, peace.
> 
> Growing up, my parents never gave me the 'bees and flowers' talk and I was forced to learn about sex in school. As a med student, I find it hilarious when I hear parents struggling to explain babymaking to children. But, I really couldn't blame them tho. It was ingrained in our society that children should stay innocent and pure (which means ignorant about sex) Especially, in religious countries.
> 
> The concept of sex, pregnancy, etc. should not be considered taboo.
> 
> Yeah, that's it. Thanks for coming to my TED talk lol. Please don't be offended by my opinion. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> P. S. Next chapter will be posted on Saturday. Till then, my lovely readers!


	9. Kids should not interfere when adults are talking

Upon reaching the Jaeger's house, Levi and Mikasa were greeted by Carla's cooking. 

"Eren's still not here?" Mikasa asked when her eyes wandered in the kitchen and the usual shadow of Eren was nowhere to be found.

Carla said that her son might be distracted again on his way home. Taking every minute details and straying away in the process.

Levi found that very possible. It would not surprise him if the brunette came home with a couple of bruises.

"Do you need help, Carla?" He offered but the mother just shook her head and told Levi to wash before dinner. He didn't need to be told twice when he felt his shirt clung to his chest due to his perspiration.

He made a beeline for the wash area but stopped in his tracks just as he felt a familiar presence behind him.

"Let's bath together." She replied when he asked why she was following him like a lost dog.

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because—"

Levi buried his face, struggling to explain to Mikasa why they could not possibly wash together. Her innocence was muddling the rational side of his brain.

Little girls were the real threat to humanity. They were worse than titans. At least a titan wouldn't whine about not being able to bathe together. Plus, you could definitely kill a titan without any repercussions. Not that he was implying that he wanted to kill little girls.

"Because you're a girl, dimwit." He tried to explain.

"So?"

"So, no."

Mikasa frowned. "No. Stop doing that. Puppy eyes won't work to me." She continued pouting her lips.

"Mikasa, will you help me peel these potatoes?"

He sighed in relief when Mikasa finally gave up on her pursuit of mutual bathing. Thankful for Carla's disruption, he, despite the delay, was able to wash away the dirt on his body.

Emerged from the bathroom, he caught a glimpse of Grisha's back that jog his memory of their impending conversion later. He couldn't stop himself overthinking about it. He was thankful for the brief distraction provided by the Shiganshina trio, but the foreboding wouldn't leave his mind.

The gnawing feeling of knowing that Grisha might have an idea about his situation was eating him. Although, the prospect of having someone aware of his I-died-but-brought-back-to-life-circumstances appealed to him in some ways. The problem, he's beginning to realize, was that all this withholding facts came at a price.

He couldn't exactly babble his mouth that he was an actual thirty-year-old and he's from the future. Not only no one with a sane mind would believe him but also he was afraid that he might change the course of time.

Furthermore, Grisha Jaeger clued to his secret would be suspicious. He was sure that he never insinuated with his actions that he was from the future so the doctor should not be able to pick up anything, not even a little. Unless he was a mind reader; however, Levi doubted mind-reading was a titan shifter's ability.

In conclusion, there's nothing to be afraid of. Yet, the familiar tugging in his gut was telling him to put up his guards and he couldn't ignore it. The soldier in him was whispering to be wary of Grisha Jaeger's dubious gaze and sharp wit. If only he was not aware that he might be hiding something in his basement—something that could potentially unravel humanity's secrets— chances are he would ignore his intuition.

"I'm home."

He was roused from his reverie when Eren found his way to the kitchen. That's when Levi decided to pull a chair beside Grisha.

"Mikasa let me help you." Mikasa accepted Eren's offer and hand him the root vegetable for her to clean up.

On her way to the wash area, she gave Levi a look that he deduced was a sign of disappointment for not accepting her proposal earlier. A proposal that he would never say yes. Maybe, _just maybe_ , he would when she's older. He pinched himself for his indecent subconscious.

"Don't forget about our conversation later, Levi." Grisha reminded, complete with a gentle smile identical to a loving father.

Regardless, it did not tug his heart parallel to what a son would feel. It only made him flinched inwardly. Still, he tried his best to mimic a child's trusting smile. "Of course, Dr. Jaeger."

All this smiling was making him feel like a stranger to himself. Fortunately, Grisha believed his deception or perhaps, that's what the doctor wanted to make Levi think.

"What would you talk about?" Eren asked with pure curiosity when he joined them.

His father reached for his head, "It's nothing, son."

"If you say so." Grisha froze momentarily upon his son's indistinct expression. It was times like this that the father couldn't decipher his own boy like he was a stranger.

"Eren and Levi, help me set the table." The two boys followed Carla and Mikasa, who just finished her bath also helped. And the five of them shared a decent meal.

After washing the dishes, Grisha led Levi to a place he never guessed that the doctor would bring him. They went through a wooden door. Then, a staircase that led them to another wooden door.

When he opened the door, Levi immediately scanned the interior of the basement.

Dismay wash over him when he realized how plain the basement was. It contained materials for Grisha's work as a doctor; a desk was situated on the wall and several shelves containing medical books. Beyond that, nothing is interesting in the place.

He never expected this.

"What do you want to talk about, Dr. Jaeger?" His tone came venomous, which he never intended to but his annoyance about the basement greatly affected him. If Grisha noticed his change of tone, he never showed it.

"I just want to ask if you would want to stay here permanently? With Mikasa, of course."

_That's it?_

"I would love to." Although, his voice suggested otherwise.

"Time is a complicated thing, isn't it?" Levi was completely taken aback by the sudden question. "Usually, it progresses at a constant pace for everyone. It's actually vague in nature if you would ponder about it."

He watched Grisha situated himself behind the desk, sitting seriously. "We view time naturally as going forward through the present, from fixed and irreversible past to the uncertain and unfixed future."

"What are you trying to say, doctor?" He asked impatiently. "What I'm trying to say is despite the intrinsicality of time, sometimes—sometimes the past could be reversible and the future certain."

They stared at each other, calculating their next move. "But that would be impossible. Time is constant, doctor. Just like what you said." He said innocently, almost childlike.

A smirk appeared on Grisha's face. "Right. That would be completely impossible."

He stood from his chair and opened the wooden door. "I'm sorry for keeping you up so late."

Levi wanted to say that it's still early but he remembered that kids normally needed to sleep early. "Good night, doctor."

"Good night, Levi."

Realizing that Grisha still wanted to stay in the basement, Levi started to climb the stairs. He was on the fourth step when Grisha called his name.

"Be careful."

He answered with a mere nod and made his way above the basement.

There's one thing that he was certain, though. He refused to believe the facade Grisha built around that place. Because he was not done yet with the basement.

\--

When Levi blinked his eyes, the rain pelted him on his face; blocking the view ahead of him. But, somehow he seemed to know exactly where to go. And a complete goal was on his mind: Kill Erwin Smith.

He repeated those three words like a mantra.

Until he heard a shriek that made him immediately swerved his horse.

Complete horror was sketched on his face when he saw the head of Isabel Magnolia was strewn on the ground and when his eyes went up, he witnessed a titan munching Farlan Church's body.

His hand moved on his own and tried to pull his blades but they were nowhere to be found. Frustration surged through him. But all of his frustrations were nothing compared to the rage threatening to break free.

"No! No! Wait. Not yet!" He screamed when his surrounding started to distort. "I will save them! Wait!"

The head of Isabel dissolved into dust as well as the titan eating Farlan and a faraway voice resonated across the dissolving terrain. "You could never save them."

He tried to run away until his vision became black and when he opened his eyes, it's accompanied with disgust when he realized that he woke up in cold sweat.

He cursed silently, carefully climbing out of Eren's bed. Once outside the house, he kicked the first stone he saw as hard as he could, sending it to an unknown place. Not that he cared about it anyway.

The rage inside him was still fresh and his frustrations further fueled it. His dream left him in a complete mess.

Actually, it was all a complete mess from the start and his dream about Isabel and Farlan was the last straw.

"Levi?"

_Of course, Mikasa._

"Go to sleep, Mikasa." He said, not bothering to turn around. For he did not want to show his current state to anyone. Especially, to her.

Levi flinched when he felt her hand on his shoulder. "Let's get inside. It would make you feel better."

He brushed off her hand and faced her.

"You don't have any right to assume what makes me feel better because you are just a child. You don't understand what I'm going through." He walked past her as she attempted to stop him from his strides.

"If you would—"

"Shut up, Mikasa."

"Wait, Levi! What's happening?"

And he snapped.

"I never wanted to die, okay?! I thought—finally, thank you — but destiny wants to fuck me like it always does. Do you know how it feels to have a chance to save someone dangling in front of you like you're a fucking fish? Taunting you to grab it but you can't because this—all of this is just borrowed time.

"I've never been a good man. Fuck, I'm not even a decent human being. I hurt everyone. I'm a miserable man who takes it out on other people because the truth is I'm nothing but a coward. There, I say it! I'm a fucking coward!"

"W-what? I don't understand."

He bit his lips out of frustration. He never thought that he could get lower than any of this. Apparently, he could. This was an all-new level of being a jerk.

"Forget it."

Because the cruelest truth out of all of this was no matter how much he tried, Levi Ackerman was not capable of changing anything.


	10. How to say sorry sincerely?

Mikasa was not talking to him. He sort of expected it, if truth be told. After everything he said last night, it would be more surprising if the little girl would converse to him as usual.

With that in mind, some may assume that he was affected by it.

Wrong!

First of all, in no circumstances he was upset on that subject. Not at all. Nuh-uh.

And second of all, he has a lot of other important matters to figure out, and Mikasa giving him the cold shoulder only occupied a fragment of his brain.

Because, see, now would be an excellent time to explain a vital information regarding Levi:

Captain Levi Ackerman of Survey Corps was many, many, many things but he was never one to care whether someone was talking to him or not. In theory, therefore, there's no point in being miserable simply because one happens to be flying solo.

After all, pleasing people was not as easy as slicing up napes. It did not come naturally to him unlike his proficiency in ODM.

So even though the prospect of dying alone and poor might faze some, Captain Levi would probably handle it quite well (already did); as a person who's experienced loneliness most of his life, he didn't even know what's it like to mingle with people, actual people besides Erwin, Hange and his squad. Truthfully, it has never really bothered him before.

The pitiful captain had already accepted his role as the lone wolf that no one wanted to talk to. Either because they're scared or they didn't want to be forced on his cleaning sessions.

Even with Hange's constant effort on befriending (annoying) him and his squad's presence, he wouldn't deny the fact that isolation blended well with his temperament. He long ago dismissed the possibility of an actual socializing, owing in equal parts to his scowling face and the fact that someone rarely got his toilet jokes, which he knew made him come off as an absolute idiot. Hey, at least he tried and he blamed Kenny for the humor.

Funnily enough (as funny as his pooping jokes; this one beat it), the thirty-year-old captain was certainly affected by Mikasa's silent treatment.

He would even acknowledge the hard truth that it was his fault for taking out his anger on Mikasa. The fact that he vented all his frustrations on the younger version of his subordinate made him feel like the biggest jerk in the whole world. On that account, perhaps he was lying when he said that he couldn't care less that she's sulking. Because the 'fragment of his brain' actually meant his whole mind.

"Mikasa."

Ignored.

"Mikasa."

Ignored again.

"Oi. Stupid girl."

He should not call her stupid.

"Mikasa. Hey. Wait! I'm sorry."

Ignored. Blocked. Disregarded. Wounded. Sadness.

And that's okay. Just because it's sad did not mean it has to ruin your life.

The seeds of self-pity had been sown when Eren, who always showed some animosity to him, threw some sympathy on his way after he saw him pathetically beg for Mikasa's forgiveness.

"Did you fight with Mikasa?" He could tell that what he really meant was, _Levi, you poor, poor thing. What a horrible ordeal you've been through. You deserved that, by the way._

"What gave it away?" He asked sarcastically.

"She actually said that she hates you." 

"She-she said that?"

"Not exactly. But close." There's amusement in his voice that indicated that he thought what he said was good enough to be witty. Cute. Very cute of him to think that way.

Levi got up and decided to abandon his firewood duty. "Ha, ha," he managed weakly.

"Just so you know, we're going to the market."

He stared at Eren blankly, then return inside.

Fortunately, his history taught him that while the nausea and self-loathing born of his misplaced anger may linger for a while, eventually it dissipate along with most of the gory details.

The regret though...well he supposed that's a little different. It never fully disappeared. It's just sort of faded away until it became a tiny little pinprick of shame, part of the growing list of things he wished he'd done differently, or not at all.

Yes, the regret was unfortunately quite permanent.

~

The fluttering of a familiar red garment on her neck made him feel giddy inside. The scarf definitely complemented the dark shade of her hair and brought out the color of her eyes.

Although, it never hid her glumness.

Judging from the sour mood of Mikasa, Eren decided to tread lightly and made it his personal mission to at least make her smile a little.

However, as they turned around the corner, they saw Armin being cornered by a bunch of kids, bullying him. Eren seeing his best friend being threatened that way, folded his sleeves and marched in their direction followed by a cautious Mikasa. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?!"

The boys smirked smugly and ugly. "If it isn't Eren..." their gaze fell upon Mikasa "...are you that scared of getting your ass whipped again that you actually brought a girl along?" They all snickered.

"Huh?!" Eren charged head-on, punching the first boy he could reach. "Eren!"

He was uncertain between Mikasa and Armin on who called his name. At some point when he decided to attack, their voice mixed. It became hazy and the only thing he could register was the faint smell of blood on his knuckles as well as the fist connecting with his right cheek.

The asphalt turned out was harder than it looked like if you would base it on the bruise forming on his right eye. His mother would probably berate him again for his brashness so might as well go all out. He immediately stood up and this time, he decided to test the strength of his leg by kicking the stomach of one of his foes.

Before Eren's victim could even attack back, Mikasa already stood between them and gave the boy a good uppercut. The boy flew so far that it made Armin pray for his health and safety.

"M-monster!" All of the bullies ran away and left Armin, Eren and few spectators gaped from witnessing the young girl's unexpected strength.

"M-Mikasa, that was..." Apparently, the brunette's vocabulary was not wide enough to describe what just happened. "...amazing." Armin supplied.

Thankful for the adjective, Eren nodded his head in agreement.

"Are you alright, Eren?" Her hands caressed the blooming purplish splotch on his right eye. "Y-yes." He uttered, completely dumbfounded by Mikasa's worried question.

All at once, irritation and guilt rush through him. Punching him in the gut.

He promised that he would make Mikasa smile and yet he pulled her into a fight like a real gentleman. He was no different than Levi.

"Sure?"

He couldn't really answer with her face inches away from his.

Their little bubble burst when a tall man with blond hair and Garrison Regiment's symbol on his back came forward. His face was flushed which may suggest his on-the-job alcohol consumption. Although, his sobriety was debatable.

"Eren, what happened here?" 

"Hannes!"

Hannes stared at the new face beside Eren before noticing the bruise. "You got yourself in trouble again?" Hannes guffawed.

"Armin needed my help."

"I told you, kid. Fighting is not always the answer."

The soldier knelt, "You need to control yourself, Eren. One of these days, I might find you in a cell."

Eren responded with a _hmph_ , completely dismissing Hannes' advice and receiving a hair ruffle from him.

"Who's this girl?" Mikasa buried her face on the scarf, uncomfortable with the sudden shift of attention to her. "This is Mikasa. She was living with us."

"Hello, Mikasa." Hannes greeted with a smile. "Hello." She replied meekly.

Hannes stood up. "Alright. You kids be careful and I don't want to see you punching someone again, Eren." He waved his hand before returning to his post or rather to his fellow soldiers happily drinking.

Eren returned his attention to Armin who was uninjured saved for a few verbal insults. After assessing the blonde's physical and mental state, the three of them decided to go to a freshwater lake.

"They are cowards!"

Mikasa and Armin peered at Eren skeptically. By now, Eren has long since forgotten about his bruise and has moved on to insulting the group of boys.

"What did they call you again?"

Armin sighed, "Delusional. I told them about the ocean and they said that there's no such thing."

"What's an ocean?" Mikasa asked. Armin glanced at Eren and he gave him an encouraging nod, signalling him to continue.

"Ocean is a huge body of water." The girl's eyes widened, her jaw slacking. "Bigger than this?" She asked, referring to the lake ahead of them. "Bigger! And it's made of salt!"

"Salt?!" Armin bobbed his head in excitement. "Someday, I will venture outside the walls and look for it."

The determination in his blue eyes was enough to astonish Eren and Mikasa. Determination, sounded foreign for the ten-year-old girl that a mere glimpse of it drew her desire to have one. 

"I can't wait for that." The glint in her two silver orbs mirrored his blue ones. For the first time ever, Mikasa Ackerman learned what it's like to have your own resolve.

Finally, Eren's mission was brought to a conclusion. A stunning smile was pasted on her face and all of a sudden, he forgot how to breathe.

~

What's so good about chopping firewoods? None. But for Levi, it somehow helped him ponder for a while even though the ax was awkwardly paired with him. Nowadays, his strength was slowly coming back as his body was receiving enough nourishment thanks to Carla's cooking.

On difficult mornings, such as these, he tried to find solace in a series of uplifting aphorisms he painfully collected over the years. It helped him salvage whatever shreds of optimism he could from the wreckage of his life (Erwin was responsible for the aphorisms)

So he told himself that nobody's perfect. The perfect mantra for chronically regretful sorts like him. Most of the time, the simple, wonderful truth of it was enough to put the spring back on his step. Only today it wasn't, that he couldn't possibly use 'Nobody's perfect' as an excuse for his harsh venting last night.

He groaned when he missed a wood.

_Whatever I did, I'm sorry. Just make it stop._

Unfortunately for him, no entity heard him but a certain titan shifter did because surprise, surprise he said it out loud.

"Leave the firewoods, Levi. Go fetch Eren and Mikasa."

He solemnly nodded his head on Grisha's orders before making his way on the market. Because following Grisha was better than this.

Just as Levi started to ponder his life again, bells began to ring and those bells only signify one thing: The Survey Corps' return from a mission.

He ran as fast as he could.

The sullen and injured state of the soldiers welcomed Levi. It was not surprising actually.

"A waste of money."

"Nothing good."

"Heh. Disband Survey Corps."

The Captain clenched his fist. The onlookers' opinion about their missions had always irked him. As a soldier, he most of all understood the reason why they were venturing outside the walls. Not for money. Not for fame. And definitely not for death. But for freedom and knowledge and the least the people could do was to support their cause.

As for the tax, people assumed was compensating them, it would pass through several hands before it could even found its way on the regiment's treasury. By that time, the money was already portioned out into unequal amounts.

He couldn't blame them though, not when the Survey Corps accomplished nothing, and judging from their bandages and missing limbs, this mission was one of their unsuccessful ones.

Reminded of his reason, Levi filtered out every soldier looking for Isabel and Farlan—which was not difficult because their original number was drastically reduced.

Relief and happiness bloomed inside him when he saw them, alive and intact. Isabel was waving at town people while Farlan was reprimanding her. Their actions made Levi felt nostalgic. He missed them; Isabel's antics and Farlan's strictness.

"Do you know them?" A voice behind him asked and when he turned around, he saw Erwin Smith again; examining him carefully. They were silent for a second until a soldier with an unkempt ponytail tackled Erwin.

"Erwin!"

"Hange," Levi whispered. The image of his former comrade gave him a sense of comfort. Alright, maybe he could consider Hange as his friend and even overlook the greasiness of her hair. He's considerate that way.

"Whoa! Who's this? I never saw a child with such dead eyes."

He took back everything he said. Hange was not a friend and he would not touch a single strand of her hair. Not a chance.

"He seemed to know Magnolia and Church." Erwin's voice was laced with suspicion, compelling Levi to grit his teeth.

_This is bad._

Hange's eyes glowed and grabbed Levi by his shoulders. "Oh ho! Tell me, kid. Are you also connected to Kenny the Ripper?"

Upon the mention of his former guardian slash mentor slash uncle, the Captain shuddered. "W-what?"

"Hange!" Erwin chided but there's no stopping Humanity's Smartest. Erwin glanced around to see if anyone heard what Hange just said. "You see...uh...What's your name?"

Levi frowned as Hange's expression morphed into what he always called 'disturbing titan expression'.

"Levi."

"You see, Levi. Those two—Isabel and Farlan— killed Nicholas Lovof upon the orders of good 'ol Kenny."

His eyes widened, unable to hide hisnshock. "Enough, Hange." Erwin grabbed Hange by her collar and dragged her away along with her thrashings. They were about to go when they stopped short and turned back.

"Sorry about—"

As soon as the words left his mouth, the ground started to shake.

"Titans!"

And everyone watched with shock and curiosity as the Colossal Titan peered through the wall.

Once again, Humanity received a grim reminder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advance Merry Christmas! 
> 
> Some of you might be wondering why the previous chapters were short. Well, the truth was I really hate long chapters and it somehow became my personal challenge to write a chapter with less than 2000 words. Except for this chapter which exceeds the 2000 mark.
> 
> Anyway, 6 days before AOT season 4!!!!!!! Are you excited? Cause I am! So excited that it made me write this chapter which was originally planned to be posted next week. Plus, I will be busy binge-watching AOT season 1-3 so the next update might be next week? I'm not really sure hehe.
> 
> Once again, thank you for supporting this fanfiction. Every kudos, hits, and comment are highly appreciated. Seriously, y'all making me cry with your praises.
> 
> See you on the next update!


	11. Wall Maria is falling down, falling down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to @snackerman who made a gorgeous fanart for this fanfiction. Thank you again❤️
> 
> To avoid confusion, I decided to use Section Commander for Erwin instead of Captain. I vaguely remember using Captain for Erwin but I forgot what chapter was it.

It all happened so fast.

"All able-bodied soldiers come with me!"

"Ready the cannons!"

"Titans are coming!"

"Garrison! Evacuate the citizens!"

"Where are the military police?"

Levi wasted no time in being nervous when his instincts screamed at him to find Mikasa. "Hey! Levi!" Hange called but he was already running as fast as he could. To where? His mind went haywire and his whole body relied entirely on adrenaline. Powered by instinct, with his heart in his throat, he let his feet take its course.

"Mikasa!" He screamed but his voice was effortlessly drowned by shrieks and cries for help. What he saw came in quick, sharp stabs of vision—people trampled by debris and eaten by titans. It was a scene straight from hell. Regardless of his years killing titan, them eating a human never bode well for him.

His heart was pounding so fast, it was threatening to jump out of his ribcage as soon as a morbid thought played right inside him: a titan swallowing Mikasa. He quickly dissipated it like he was swatting a fly. Although, he instantly concluded that the vehemence inside him stemmed from that very realistic vision.

"Mikasa! Eren!" He yelled. "Armin!"

He did not know how he managed to avoid all the debris and titans but somehow he came out unscathed and disappointed. He circled the market twice but he couldn't see the little girl nor Eren and Armin. "Mikasa! Damn it. Where are you?!"

He was about to run again when he heard someone asking for help. This time he couldn't ignore her.

"Help me! Please help me!" Despite the adrenaline pumping through his body, his legs felt like two blocks of solid granite. It took all of his willpower to inch forward toward the poor woman whose feet were under a rock. He tried to push the boulder away which was proven to be impossible with his ten-year-old body. The task's risk doubled when Levi spotted a ten-meter titan in close proximity to them.

"Fuck."

The woman's screams became louder and desperate, begging Levi to hasten. He would if were not for the fact that he was a little kid. His throat tightened and his ears began to ache.

The titan was closing in; everything went in slow motion. A mere minute one way or the other might make the difference between panic and calm. He felt his body giving in to the tension, feeling tired more than ever. Only once before had Levi Ackerman ever been filled with much desperation and fear as he was now.

_Just this once. Just let me save someone. Let me change something._

A large hand, stretched its way, aiming for him. A second death inside a titan's mouth was not how he imagined everything would end. When he finally started to see himself as the titan saw him—an insect living beneath a perpetually upraised foot—desperation and apathy cannot be far behind him. So, to take the string off the inexorable march to the grave, he closed his eyes.

As the darkness started to consume his aspirations, the image of Mikasa served as his light at the end of the endless tunnel. She was smiling and she was fifteen again, wearing their military uniform, strapped with her ODM and blades and the hideous scarf was on her neck again. Oh, how he wanted to burn that stupid red scarf.

"Captain. Fight." Her words reverberated inside his mind, stirring up his tenacity to live. Mikasa, oh god, he needed to find her, to save her and apologize for what he did.

No. He refused to die. Eyes snapped open, he picked up a large rock and threw it with all his might. The titan's knee buckled, causing a smirk from him; however, the self-satisfaction did not last long as soon as he recognized a shimmer from behind a titan. Farlan sliced the nape of the titan that forced it to wobble, not Levi's earnest rock attack.

"Isabel, get him! I'll save the woman." Isabel grabbed his hand, carried him on her hip. Mortification arose within him upon the realization that his former companion was handling him like a wayward child. He was on the verge of complaining when she aimed and fired the grapple hooks of her ODM gear, leaving the words on his throat.

Reeling forward, the acceleration and momentum distracted him briefly. The sensation of flying brought back memories he buried beneath his mind that involved birds and underground. With Farlan swooping in to save him and Isabel carrying him, the Captain had a moment of diminutive happiness.

They dropped into an open space where some of the citizens have taken refuge. Some of the injured Survey Corps were stationed there, including Erwin Smith who built a temporary logistics base.

Isabel put him down and was about to go when he grabbed her arm. "Thank you."

The girl smiled and ruffled his hair, "You're welcome." And she flew away, just like how she did back then.

Levi roamed his eyes around, looking for Mikasa's unusual shade of hair. When he discerned that she was not there, he decided to return to the market. A hand blocked him. When he raised his gaze, he saw Erwin.

"You're not allowed to go back there. A boat that will transport you inside Wall Rose will arrive soon. For the meantime, stay here." 

"No. My friends are out there! I need to save them." Erwin knelt and put his hands on both of his shoulders. "The soldiers are doing their best to save everyone. We don't need to add any more casualties."

Levi removed Erwin's hands. "I'm going to save them." This time, he stressed it enough for him to understand.

"Section Commander! The Garrison will close the gates! We need to go." A soldier reported. 

"They can't do that. There are still people in there."

Erwin had a bad feeling about where this was going. He could sense the other shoe was about to drop. He didn't have to wait long.

"A new titan appeared and wrecked the inner gates." Said the soldier.

"New titan?"

"Yes sir! His body was covered in a layer of plated armor. Even a direct hit from a cannon can't do much damage"

Levi gawked when it occurred to him that Reiner finally made his appearance.

There's no hope in defeating his titan. Nothing could penetrate his hard body. He was deliberating this when orders finally came out from Erwin's mouth followed by a sigh.

"Tell everyone to retreat." He ordered with a definite air of finality.

"What do you mean retreat?! My friends are out there!"

"I'm sorry." Was the only thing he said before he called another soldier to announce their departure. "Search for Commander Shadis."

"You need to save them!" Levi screamed but remained unheard. "Listen to me you eyebrows!" He snapped, a little too cruelly. His eyebrows were a sore point for the blond Section Commander. Except now was not that time to feel any remorse. He lashed because there's a good reason behind it. With a clenched fist, he admitted indignantly, "Those three kids out there. They are humanity's hope."

The Section Commander raised his right eyebrow, completely attracting his attention. Erwin paused as he tried to get a read on Levi. His face was inscrutable, forcing Erwin to ask, "Humanity's hope?"

"I'll tell you about it after you found them. For now, you need to trust me."

"Why would I trust you?" Erwin challenged. There was a reason Erwin Smith was so good at what he did. He was not a pushover, not by a long shot.

"I know that what I said sounds dubious. There are forces at play here that I am not allowed to tell, even with you. But I'm willing to take a risk. Believe me and put your trust in me. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin will save humanity."

Erwin thought about it a moment. And looked him right in the eye and stated, "I don't know what are you trying to pull. But, I will be held liable for the lives that will be sacrificed for searching and saving your friends. So, if this is all a childish prank..."

In a flash, the ten-year-old captain shook his head. "I'm serious."

A tall and well-built man that Levi knew very well stepped up, sniffing him. "What are the descriptions of your friends?"

Levi awkwardly distanced himself from Mike's nostrils as he described the Shiganshina Trio.

Erwin looked at Mike. "You know what to do."

Mike fixed his eyes on him. Finally, he barked orders for rescuing two boys and one girl.

"As for you, you're coming with us." 

~

Entering the humble headquarters, Levi found himself being encapsulated by wistfulness again. Gone were the shining hallways that he dutifully scrubbed clean. It was replaced by grime and ambiguously looking dried blood. His hands were itching to grab the nearest cleaning supplies and furbish it just like the old times or new times. Whatever.

Erwin excused himself for a moment and left him in the mess hall, crowded with injured soldiers.

"Yo! We meet again, Levi!" Said Hange as she waved her hands.

Levi didn't respond. His mind was a million miles away as he tried to shove away his worries for Mikasa.

Remembering that the eccentric scientist was notoriously sharp, Levi was wondering if he should converse with her or pretend that she didn't exist when she asked, "Do you want to eat or do you want to get right on business?"

"Huh?"

Hange chuckled. Her laugh, like her voice, was in keeping with the rest of her quirky personality. "Now _there's_ a topic worth exploring..."

"If this is about my connection to Kenny then I'm telling you that I don't know him."

"Well, that's a relief. Because frankly, being a kid won't excuse you from the law if they find out that you're connected to that murderer." She says without breaking eye contact.

"Don't worry," Levi replied as he stared at the reflection of himself cast against Hange's glasses. "I'm not connected to that criminal."

Hange hummed, pulled a seat in front of him. "How about Isabel and Farlan?"

"What about them?" Hange leaned forward in her chair. "How do you know them?"

"I'm from the Underground." He admitted reluctantly. "I sometimes see them roaming around. But, I never saw Kenny there, not even once."

Hange didn't say anything. She just waited.

"Dr. Jaeger saved me from that place." He lied, easily. Levi doubted that anyone wouldn't buy the sob story he invented. An impoverished youth saved by a philanthropic doctor. Maybe he should write a book about it. After all, angst was totally his genre.

He watched Hange analyzed him like one of her specimens.

"Hmm."

Levi smirked inwardly. He knew that Hange knew his type all too well. She assumed that the only way to get a psychological advantage over a child like him was to shock him so hard that he was thrown completely off balance. Too bad, Levi was aware on how her mind worked.

All in all, Hange was a very intelligent character and Levi was glad to have gotten the jump on her. No matter how good a fighter he was, she was not somebody he would ever want to meet on psychological warfare.

Hange chuckled again. "Alright. I supposed you're innocent." She stood up and stretched her arms, "But, watch for your back." Warned his former comrade.

He pursed lips. First, it was Grisha telling him to be careful. Now, it was Hange warning him to watch out. What's up with these people? It was really becoming annoying.

Levi swept his dark hair and replied, "Your concern for my well-being is quite touching."

Hange snorted in response.

~

"Any news on the rescue operation?" Mike shook his head. "The Military Police sealed off Shiganshina. No one could leave nor enter that place." With titans swarming like fleas inside Wall Maria, it's difficult to tell if they could find the three children. He couldn't guarantee how long it would take. It could be a matter of hours, weeks or worst, never. Considering that lives were at stake, he hoped it would be the former.

Erwin paced on the other side of his desk. Purple moonlight filters through the window, giving his office an almost fluorescent glow. Though it wasn't yet fall, there was a chill in the night air.

"It's so unlike you to believe a child's words, Section Commander." Said Mike while pouring himself a drink from Erwin's collection. Erwin had always appreciated Mike's keen, tactical mind. But, in this case, Erwin knew how to navigate the situation better than his comrade.

As the Section Commander, Erwin didn't have to explain himself, much less to a soldier below him in the hierarchy. But, as his friend, Erwin felt that he owed Mike an explanation. "There's too much at stake here, Mike. I can't afford to walk away from a chance of saving mankind. Even if it's slim or from a child's mouth." Mike leaned on the wall and took a long pull from his liquor.

"I don't want to compromise our cause just because it's so happened that a little tyke used 'hope' and 'humanity' in one sentence. And isn't he the same boy that Hange suspected was connected with Kenny?"

"I doubt that a man such as Kenny would associate himself with children," replied Erwin.

A scoff from Mike made him winced. "Magnolia is still a child and she already got blood on her hands."

"She was not as young as Levi and Kenny actually did us a favor for killing Lovof."

Mike took another swig.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about. Right?

"Just trust me on this one, Mike. Something is telling me that what Levi said was true. That those three kids from Shiganshina might be our hope."

The timing, though, stank and Erwin wasn't a person who believed in coincidence. There had to be a connection, and he was determined to find out what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, Mikasa, Eren, and Armin were still missing. I just hope that they're fine ;)
> 
> To those who don't know Nicholas Lovof, he was the one who ordered Levi to kill Erwin (A choice with no regrets) He was an anti-scouting faction leader that's why Erwin said that Kenny was doing them a favor for killing him (Bad Erwin!)
> 
> On a different note, this fanfiction just reached a hundred kudos! Cheers! It's such a big milestone for me. Thank you for your support. I love each of you ❤️


	12. Your ex and your current wife must never meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains spoiler for Attack on Titan: Final Season. Read at your own risk.

"Leave the firewoods, Levi. Go fetch Eren and Mikasa."

Grisha's watchful eyes never left Levi as he sauntered en route to the market. And when his back turned into a small dot in the distance, Grisha was relieved.

He had noticed the boy sulking and frankly, he didn't want to be near him while he was brandishing the ax in a similar way he would swing a blade; a very dangerous weapon. Eren told him that Mikasa had been avoiding Levi like the plague for some reason that the said boy lashed out on her. He asked for the _specific reason_ why Levi raised his voice to Mikasa; Eren just shrugged his shoulders and told Grisha that the raven-haired girl refused to recall what happened last night.

 _Last night_ , Grisha mused. Could it be that he annoyed him to the point that he bit Mikasa's head off? Levi's temperament knew no bounds except of course the fine line between him and the girl. Nevertheless, he would not associate himself with a fight between two children.

"Where's Levi?" His train of thought was interrupted during which his wife stood beside him and peeked on the same window. "I send him to the market."

Carla remained looking through the window until she turned around back to the kitchen when she remembered her wifely duties.

The rays of the morning sun crept inside their house that made Grisha happy. He loved mornings as they signify new beginnings and for him, there's nothing more satisfying than waking up without any worries. The beginning was what he sought when he accepted Eren Kruger's titan. And beginning was what he got when he saw his wife giving birth to his second son.

"Do you want some tea, honey?" He looked over his shoulder and answered Carla with a smile. And the wife knew immediately what he meant. Apparently, seven years of marriage made Carla an esper.

Sometimes, it still felt surreal when he would see the morning sun behind Carla, basking her with its golden light. Out of everything Grisha had mastered in his life, relationships with women wasn't one of them. But when he met Carla, he swore he wouldn't let any excuse for another failed relationship.

One night as Carla lay sleeping next to him, Grisha looked deep inside himself for a reason—the real reason he had used to push away good women who had ever come into his life away from him when he went inside the walls.

He saw the face of Dina Fritz hover before his mind's eyes. As with Carla, they had met under extraordinary circumstances. In Dina's case, it had been a revolution. Afterward, they'd been bonded over their shared resentment towards Marley and eventually got married. For all intents and purposes, they should have been perfect together— _maybe even as perfect as he and Carla were._ But things hadn't just worked out. She was an incredible woman and someone Grisha regretted deeply having lost.

Although he would set it aside, the guilt would sometimes crawl inside him whispering that he never deserved any of this. That this beginning was just an illusion because at the end of the day the truth would not change for him.

But his wife—his second wife—patiently loved him and at that moment he made a new vow to himself. If Carla turned out to be the one for him, he would never let her go. Not in this lifetime.

"I'm worried about Levi." She said after handing his tea. As a good husband, he took a sip from his tea and asked, "Why?"

"He's too mature for his age." From time to time, his wife's sharpness frightened him.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Oh no! No, it's not; I suppose."

"You're not making any sense, honey."

Carla exhaled deeply and fixed her eyes outside the house, where Levi had chopped some firewoods a moment ago.

"I—I just want him to have a nice childhood, that's all. He's still young and yet, why does it look like he was carrying a heavy burden on his shoulders?"

Suddenly, his tea became murky as well as his mind for racking too hard for a valid reply. 

"We don't know what he has gone through," was what he had come up with for a reply.

"Exactly. I want to know him more. Not just him but also Mikasa. I've been meaning to tell you since they came here, honey. I want to adopt them."

Grisha was taken aback. "Are you sure, Carla? Three kids...that's a lot of work," he asked, voice imbued with worry.

To which Carla happily replied, "I can handle it! Besides I have always wanted a daughter."

The corners of his mouth rose until it became a playful smile. "You should've told me, honey."

His wife's cheeks colored up into a beautiful tint of red once she understood the double meaning of his words. "Shut up, old man," She blustered. "I may be an old man my dear but, my knees were not that weak yet. Want to test it?" He whispered.

Carla smacked his chest out of sheer embarrassment but with her delicate hands, if nothing else, her punches were like tickles. Grisha caught both of her hands and kissed the tip of her knuckles, "A fourth child in the house sounds nice, don't you think?"

"Stop teasing me, honey!"

Grisha laughed uproariously at the same time a clap thunder roared from somewhere beyond the walls. Immediately, Grisha feared the worst, and his entire body stiffened. "Is there a storm brewing?" Carla wondered. Both of them staggered when the ground started to shake.

After the rumbling stopped, Grisha peeked on the window and saw everyone screaming and panicking. Everyone was screaming about titans and walls.

"Carla, stay here!"

Grisha ran outside the house; however, he had not gone too far when he heard a loud crash behind him.

A boulder landed on their house with Carla still inside. Despite being aghast, his love for his wife overcame him and he quickly went inside their dilapidated house. "Carla!"

Finding her unconscious under the rubble, he briskly checked her pulse. She was still alive but her pulse was weakening due to blood loss caused by a head injury. Because he couldn't check if there's a neck or back injury, he needed to pull her out without touching her head. But no matter how he struggled to remove the debris, it was still proven to be futile. And with titans starting to appear, Grisha Jaeger was more desperate than ever.

When he checked her breathing and pulse again, it was becoming fainter and fainter. "C'mon honey. You need to fight. Don't leave me." He pleaded.

Anguished, an idea occurred to him.

He was going to transform into a titan. He had to. There wasn't anything else probable besides that.

His hand was placed on his mouth, ready to bite when he spotted a familiar titan slowly closing in.

"Dina?"

He stood frozen on the ground. After several years, he w—

"Dad."

When Grisha turned around he saw his son—no— the next inheritor of the attack titan. "Eren." He mumbled. The nineteen-year-old Eren spared a glance at Carla before fixing his eyes on his father. "Go, dad."

"I can't leave your mother!"

Eren Jaeger clicked his tongue and grabbed his father by his collar. "Then, turn into a titan and kill Dina Fritz."

Grisha's eyes widened. "I can't..." If he turned into a titan, he would not have a choice but to kill Dina. And to kill Dina would be the last straw on all his pent-up guilt and regret.

"Why? Do you love her more than you love mom?" Eren asked mockingly and pushed Grisha away from him. "That's not true! I love your mother."

"But not as much as your love for your first wife, huh."

Tears started to form in Grisha's eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." His knees buckled, making him kneel on the ground. "Stop apologizing and choose already. You can't die here, dad. I'm waiting for you. You need to save us."

Eren's statement woke up Grisha. That's right, he needed to pass down his titan to Eren. He needed to fulfill his promise to Eren Kruger. He needed to save his son.

"Choose now!"

With tears in his eyes, he kissed Carla on her forehead. "I'm sorry, Carla. I'm so sorry." The voices whispering to him every night were correct. The beginning he had was just an illusion.

After taking a last look at Carla's slumbering figure, he ran away and never look back. But if he did, he would've seen his first wife devoured the woman who made him feel alive again.

~°~

The night on the Survey Corps' headquarters was unpleasant. The darkness enveloping the whole place made it appear like an abandoned, haunted castle. Plus, the constant moaning of the injured and dying soldiers sealed the deal that the headquarters was nothing but a pretense grave.

Levi hated staying there, not just because of the stockpile of dirt and dust or the cobwebs hanging on the ceiling but also the place reminded him of some memories. They were not unpleasant. Just painful.

His mind then went to a very dark corner that he usually worked hard to stay away from. He was in the right place. He knew it by the gut-wrenching feeling he experienced as he began to explore one of the darkest days of his life.

It was the 57th expedition. Somehow the female titan managed to escape Erwin's trap and had snuck up on them from behind. By the time the confrontation was over, he had taken a round through his shoulder and then the dead body of his squad was all that's left.

Though he managed to save Mikasa and rescue Eren, he found little satisfaction in it. The guilt he carried was immense.

Levi had insisted that he be the one to inform their families. Though Petra's father supported her daughter's decision to join the Survey Corps, the look on his face when he got the news broke Levi's heart wide open. He vowed to never cause another parent that kind of pain ever again.

For years, Levi thought that meant making sure all of his comrades came back alive. It was a noble goal, but in their line of work people sometimes died. It was the biggest downside of joining their regiment. It was also one of the reasons that Levi preferred working alone whenever he could. Although, he knew that he needed a team to survive since a greater number means a greater chance of killing a titan.

It was midnight when Mike Zacharias called Levi and told him to meet Erwin in his office.

When he entered the office, Erwin Smith was waiting for him.

"Have a seat, Levi." He sat on the chair facing Erwin. "Have you eaten yet?" Levi appreciated his concern.

That fact notwithstanding, Levi had still had no desire to make small talk, so he got to the point. "Any news about the search?"

"No."

"Then I'm afraid that I can't tell you anything, Section Commander."

The Section Commander stood up and pulled a folder from a cabinet adjacent to his desk. The folder was handed to Levi which he reluctantly opened.

"Three soldiers have died while searching for them." Levi gnashed his teeth. It was a scenario he had considered but didn't deem plausible.

Erwin returned to his chair and uttered, "Now, Levi what we need is something to hold onto. A leverage. Do you know what's leverage?"

He was going to say _yes_ but Erwin seemed to have taken his abrupt pause as _no_ and gave the definition of the word leverage.

Levi sighed as Erwin patiently waited for his _leverage._

"Armin is not a fighter but his mind is a valuable asset to the military." He started. "Mikasa can be reckless but that girl is worth a hundred soldiers."

Levi paused not for effect but because he didn't know how he would tell Erwin about Eren. After careful deliberation, he said, "Eren will be the most important piece. There is no future where humanity can inhabit lands without Eren."

A million different things were floating around Erwin's mind, and he found it hard to focus. With each piece he uncovered, the puzzle only grew bigger.

They all formed the _what_ of the equation. What Erwin couldn't put together was the _why._

"Are those enough leverage?"

Erwin met Levi's eyes. From an outsider's perspective, Levi's statements may sound ridiculous and childish. They were too good to be true. Regardless, Erwin acknowledged the determination on his steel-blue eyes.

"What's next after this?"

"What?"

"Let's say that we found your friends and rescued them, what's in store for us?"

Levi cussed himself. He never thought _that far._ He's too focused on saving them that he forgot to consider his next move. _What's next?_

Erwin might have noticed his fidgeting because he cleared his throat and spoke, "If you promised me that the four of you will join the Survey Corps when you turn fifteen, I will consider that as the leverage."

Levi's jaw slacked. Sure, he could easily promise that he would join the regiment as well as Eren since he already expressed his desire to wear the wings of freedom on his back. But Mikasa and Armin? That would be a different case.

Mikasa said _no_ to joining the Survey Corps. Armin did not tell if he wanted to join. Their reasons on his previous timeline were unknown to him and the last thing Levi wanted to do was to force them on joining the regiment again. Because when you picked the Survey Corps, you might as well buried yourself on the ground.

He did not want to be unfair to them.

"I can't do that. It's not my place to choose for them." Erwin nodded his head. "It seems that we've reached an impasse." The Section Commander concluded. "What do you propose, then?"

"For the meantime, you'll serve as the leverage, Levi..." The Captain agreed. "...and that means that you're not going to leave this place."

"What?!" Did he mishear or Erwin really said that he couldn't leave the headquarters? However, Erwin did not explain anything and just said, "You're dismissed."

A sigh escaped Levi's lips. He supposed that was better than promising the four of them to march towards their grave.

Levi thanked him and headed for his assigned room while he was staying at the headquarters. At the door, he made a conscious decision to shut his mind off and try to leave all the problems outside. Sleep was a weapon. It kept you sharp, and right now Levi Ackerman needed it badly.

Opening the door, he kicked his shoes off and fell onto the bed. The male barracks was infamous for its creaky beds and smelly sheets, but Levi didn't care about any of that. All he wanted was sleep.

In a matter of moments, his prayers were answered and he stepped off the cliff of consciousness into one of the deepest, darkest sleep he had ever known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grisha, you heartbreaker! Are you team #GrishNa or team #GrishCa? (I know. I sucked at making ship names). Who's the best girl? Carla or Dina? ;) 
> 
> "There is no future where humanity can inhabit lands without Eren." Was a direct quote from Erwin during his famous sasageyo moment.
> 
> A few hours left before attack on titan: final season!!!!!! Enjoy watching everyone!
> 
> Take care and stay safe❤️


	13. Shadis? More like Shady

_Filthy. Everything was filthy when Levi had set foot in the mess hall. His nose crinkled; those brats were testing his patience again. Is there anyone who can actually clean in Survey Corps?_

_His annoyance escalated right after it dawned to him on whom he specifically assigned this area._

_Footsteps heavy with indignation, he tried searching for a speck of red permanently fixed to the neck of the gloomy cadet he was about to tear to shreds; along with that disgusting scarf._

_"Kirchstein!" Jean staggered with a broom on his right hand and a rag on his left. "C-captain?" Once it was established that Captain Levi was not in his best mood today, he, on instinct, checked the floors if they were shiny enough for his commanding officer._

_But, it seemed that it was not his cleaning performance that made Captain Levi livid. "Where's Ackerman?"_

_Jean cleared his throat, straightened his back. "I saw her with Eren, sir."_

_Kirchstein gulped the moment Levi narrowed his eyes. "I'm not asking if he's with Eren. Where is she?"_

_"I think they're_ _upstairs, Captain." Levi clicked his tongue and proceeded to climb the stairs. He was halfway on it when he heard Mikasa's voice._

_"Eren, are you alright?"_

_"I'm fine." Even without seeing his face, Levi could hear the annoyance in his tone. "Stop acting like my mom, Mikasa."_

_Silence loomed over the place. Levi wondered if he should still carry on his tear-her-to-shreds-plan. "I'm just worried about you." Her voice was soft contrary to her habitual conduct. And Levi, right there and then understood that this side of her was reserved only for him._

_"About last night, Eren..."_

_The Captain's feet were glued to the ground when he caught on the atmosphere. Love confessions occasionally happened on the Survey Corps—when the inevitable death started to haunt you, the best way to go without any regrets was to be completely honest with your feelings._

_Levi may or may not unintentionally stumbled upon those private moments. Just like now._

_Suddenly, he felt like a gossipmonger for eavesdropping on such an intimate moment. But he couldn't leave right now because there's a part of him that wanted to know what will happen next._

_Levi believed Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman actually had a chance. More than that, even... An appellation not to be invoked lightly, least of all by a studied cynic like him. They fit together perfectly, no doubt about that, and there were chemistry, passion, and connection to burn. They complement each other's weaknesses and thrive on each other's strengths._

_What was a big deal was the one thing she couldn't move forward without. The one thing she didn't realize she should have been worried about all along..._

_Timing._

_"What about it?" Eren asked, just he realized what it was._

_"Do you...like me too?"_

_"Mikasa, I don't have time to think of such a mundane thing."_

_"Mundane?" She whimpered. The crush of disappointment descended on her like a pall; Levi couldn't see her, but he imagined the disappointment squeezing every trace of joy from her newly opening heart in a fraction of an instant._

_"I'm sorry, Mikasa."_

_For the first time, he felt sorry for the gloomy brat. Maybe he couldn't understand. But if love meant completely subjugating your common sense in order to cling on to a person who considered your feelings mundane, he did not think he wanted to understand._

~•~

Grisha Jaeger was running mindlessly. At this point, a part of him wanted to be eaten and just be released from these wretched feelings; slowly eating the remaining happiness.

"Grisha?" He stopped on his tracks, facing one of his friends, the one who brought him inside the walls, Keith Shadis.

The Commander did not recognize him at first. This was not the Grisha he knew. This was so empty, so sad, and grieving.

It only took a glance at him for Keith to realize what just had happened. The emptiness slowly transferred to him. _Not Carla..._

It was no secret that Commander Keith Shadis had only loved once, that Carla Jaeger was the great love of his life. He felt considerable humiliation when she left him for Grisha. Until then he'd had a spark of joy in his eyes and a ready laugh. It was only after Carla was gone that he became so bitter, angry, and zealous a man. It did not help that Survey Corps was not doing well with their past expeditions.

He might have jabbed Grisha but as a man, he understood what he's going through. To live without her, to risk losing her, was too great a cost.

"Keith, you need to help me," he begged. Keith responded with blazing eyes and a set chin. "You bastard. Don't tell me it's about your son?!"

Still shaken by his fury, Keith Shadis allowed Grisha to lead the way to find his son.

~•~

"Salt?!" Armin bobbed his head in excitement. "Someday, I will venture outside the walls and look for it."

The determination in his blue eyes was enough to astonish Eren and Mikasa.

"I can't wait for that." Finally, Eren's mission was complete. A stunning beam was pasted on her face and all of a sudden, he forgot how to breathe.

The rumbling of the earth was as sudden as she took his breath away. "What's happening?" Armin asked. His question was answered when Eren, shaking, pointed at something—peering on the walls.

In a bat of an eye, screams dominated over the whole area. Chaos ensued as people from every direction tried to run away from titans and debris flying.

Armin, Mikasa, and Eren were immobile. With jaws slacked, shaking hands, and trembling knees, the three children remained unaware of what to do. They knew that they needed to run. But, to where?

Mikasa was the first one to act. "Eren! Watch out!" She quickly pushed Eren away when she saw a flying boulder racing towards him. A small part of the boulder nicked her on the forehead making her lose her consciousness in the process.

"Mikasa!" Eren screamed. Blood oozed from her wound and Eren never felt more scared. "Wake up. Please wake up." He pleaded desperately.

He was relieved when he heard her soft breathing. "Armin, help me."

Despite the overwhelming panic, the blond boy helped Eren put Mikasa on his back. And they run.

Armin was crying while running. The horrifying image of humans getting eaten and crushed came into view.

"Keep running. Don't stop!"

"E-Eren!" A 5-meter titan spotted them and started to walk on the way to them. Eren peeked on both sides and tried to find a way for them to escape.

A whirring sound of a cord and grapple hook made both kids relieved. Up in the air, a soldier from Survey Corps cleanly cut the nape of the titan.

Someone grabbed Eren and the anxiety dissipated quickly when he saw that it was his father. "Dad," he whispered, trying not to cry.

Grisha plucked Mikasa from Eren's back. "Is this your son?" The soldier who killed the titan asked, it was just then that Eren noticed who he was. "Yes, thank you Keith."

It was Commander Keith Shadis from the Survey Corps. "Let's go. The Garrison will close the gate soon."

Keith seized hold of Armin who yelped silently for the sudden action.

They were about to run when the brunette boy released his hand from Grisha's clutches. "Dad, where's mom and Levi?"

An expression of alertness came over Grisha's face, but for only a fleeting moment before he recovered. "I don't know but I'm sure he's safe." Keith gave him a look.

Eren glanced with suspicion at his father. "Where's mom?"

At that moment they were interrupted by Keith's orders to hurry. "I'll explain later. Right now we need to go, Eren."

The commander guided them to the nearest boat en route for Wall Rose. Grisha handed a piece of paper to Keith before they rode the boat.

As they rode through, Eren was frantic. He wanted to ask his father but he did not want to distract him from tending to Mikasa's wound.

But, once they reached an inn inside Wall Rose — where Eren thought his mother was patiently waiting — Armin excused himself to take care of Mikasa's sleeping figure and Grisha at long last revealed what truly happened.

Eren felt like throwing up as he listened to the details of his mother's death. His father tried to console him but Eren's feelings of anguish only turned to rage.

"Why?!" He asked. "You could've saved her! You could've saved her!"

Grisha found himself choking up. When the tears came, he did nothing to wipe them away. Finally, he forced himself to walk over to his side. As he stared at his son's tear-stained face, Grisha gently took one of his hands in his and said, "Son, I'm so sorry."

Grisha stood there like that for several minutes and finally knelt. As he smoothed his son's hair, an unwelcome twinge of déjà vu surged through him. It was almost like being in their house again, with Carla.

_Why the hell was this going on? Why, when he was finally getting his life together?_

It was a good question and one that he'd asked himself many times since Carla's death. He was already struggling under a mountain of guilt. He needed to start compartmentalizing his life—firewalling off everyone he could from danger.

Eren locked himself away from Grisha. Despite the pleas of his father, he refused to eat or to speak to anyone. It was only when Armin reached out to him he decided to talk.

"How are you?" Asked Armin as he took the chair in front of Eren.

"Awful. How about Mikasa?"

"No change," he replied. Wanting to steer the questions away from his series of misfortunes, he posed one of his own. "Do you want to eat?" 

"No," replied Eren.

The brunette leaned back in his chair and massaged his face with his hands. His eyes filled, but he tried to keep his voice steady. "I'll be fine."

Armin hesitated before responding, for he was not convinced. "I'm sure you will."

It might be the unknown emotion playing on his eyes or the strain on his stance because suddenly Eren Jaeger felt a stranger to him.

~•~

_A day after the fall of the Wall Maria_

Mike was speaking to him, but Erwin had only half heard him. His mind was still replaying the conversation he had with Levi. Everything Levi told him made no sense. But, as ridiculous they may sound, a part of him somehow was enthralled to them. That was what bothered him.

Mike snapped his finger in front of his face to get his attention. "Am I talking solely for my own benefit here?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," replied Erwin, bringing himself back to the present. "What are we talking about?"

Mike rolled his eyes. "Commander Shadis. Are we going to tell him or not?"

Erwin thought about it a moment and then replied, "I'm inclined to keep it a secret from him."

"You got to be kidding me," moaned Mike as he threw his hands into the air. "Walls, Erwin."

"He'll never believe me."

"As do I," Mike interjected.

"And I know if anything does happen," continued Erwin. "I've got a friend who will handle it."

Mike looked over both of his shoulders trying to spot the friend Erwin was referring to, then exclaimed, "Oh! You mean me."

Erwin ignored him and tattled a list of instructions to him.

Forty-five minutes later, a knock on the door made Erwin and Mike stare at each other. "Section Commander Erwin Smith, Commander Shadis wants to talk with you."

Once he entered the office of his Commander, Erwin instantly made his presence known with a salute.

"Commander, you called for me?"

Keith was silent for several moments. Erwin began to worry that he might suspect something. Finally, the Commander said, "I heard you're searching for Eren Jaeger."

Unsure of how to respond, Erwin nodded his head. Keith pulled something from his pocket and motioned for Erwin to accept a piece of paper.

Confused, he asked the importance of the content of it.

"That's where they are. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, right?"

Erwin tensed for some reason. Why was his Commander knew about the three children's whereabouts?

"I was the one who saved them," he answered as if he read what's on his mind. Erwin expressed his gratitude with another salute. Assuming it was the sole reason for their sudden meeting, Erwin was about to excuse himself out when Keith said something, "I also heard about this boy—Levi? Was it?— about what he said to you."

Erwin spoke slowly, careful not to phrase the information in any way that might get him into trouble.

"Return that boy to the Jaeger," he said. "Yes, Si—"

Keith quickly interrupted, "As long as I'm the Commander of Survey Corps, we will never associate the regiment with a kid's nonsense statements."

His mind raced for answers, but he knew his only option was capitulation. Finally, he asked, "What do you want me to do?"

A few minutes later, as he finished his instructions to the newly acquiescent Erwin, Keith Shadis left the man with one final warning, "Forget everything that kid told you and you will follow my orders exactly. Is that clear, Section Commander?"

Though the bile choked his throat, Erwin kept his skepticism under control. His voice barely above a whisper, the soldier replied, "Yes, it is clear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the horrible pun on the chapter title. But I just had to, okay? I've been waiting for the right moment.
> 
> This chapter took too long to write and even then, I was still unsatisfied with the way it was written. I know that it was a bit confusing with all the flashbacks and change of POVs but those were necessary for the plot so I can't really remove them. I also want to apologize for the pacing of events and some OOC traits you might've noticed. 
> 
> Oh, and I think there will 3-5 chapters left before this book ends. Don't fret, there will be book 2 and that's where the training arc will happen. I'm just trying to tie the loose ends before ending book 1.
> 
> Once again, thank you for your comments and kudos! I love you all ❤️
> 
> P. s. You can follow me on my tumblr while waiting for the next update ;)


	14. Sterilize your knife properly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not a day that passes by that I don't regret using Farlan instead of Furlan. It's even on the character tag! Seriously, I'm dumb sometimes. Where did I even get 'Farlan'?
> 
> And because I'm lazy, I'll just stick with Farlan lol. Apparently, I would rather live with regret than edit a few chapters hahahahaha.

Levi awoke with a start, and it took him a few moments to realize where he was. He'd been having the nightmare again.

His body was clammy with sweat and his heart was pounding a mile a minute. Though he'd been asleep for several hours, he'd actually felt worse than when he'd first lain down.

It didn't make a difference. He was awake now.

"You're awake."

The ten-year-old Captain bolted upright just as soon he heard a familiar voice and when his eyes adjusted from the morning light, he saw Farlan leaning on the window; scrutinizing him with his smile.

"Farlan?" Farlan removed himself from where stood. "Oh? So, you do know us?" Farlan snorted derisively.

"Squad Leader Hange told us that you're also from the Underground."

"I don't know how much Squad Leader Hange told you, but I don't have anything to do with you," said Levi.

"Yeah, Hange explained that much. She also told me how a doctor saved you."

"What are you talking about?" Levi asked. Farlan laughed. "As it turns out, Levi, there is quite a bit you're keeping from us. Quite a bit you do not wish for us, or anyone else, for that matter, to find out."

"Like what?" Asked Levi, getting impatient.

"Like the fact that no doctor ever set foot on that wretched place. Much more save a trash from Underground."

Levi loved Farlan, but now wasn't exactly the time to be solving this particular problem. "Your information must be off."

"I thought so too at first," replied Farlan.

As Levi tried to focus his mind (For Pete's sake he just woke up!), He said, "I still don't see what this has to do with—"

Before he could even finish what he was saying, the door slammed open and an excited Isabel entered the room.

"Surprise!"

" _Surprise_ is right. What are you doing here? How many times do I have to tell you that you can't just barge inside the men's barracks!"

"You should've locked the door then!"

It was nice for Levi to listen to the banter between his old friends. As his mind wandered, his thoughts were drawn to Mikasa. Another day passed and she was still missing—they were still missing.

Once they were done, Isabel leaned forward to try to decipher Levi. "Hm. I remember every child from the Underground, I never saw you there."

Farlan approached him again as he pulled a knife from the pocket that made Levi grimaced—not out of fear but due to pure disgust. Yikes, that knife needed cleaning. And what was that green liquid?

"Do you work for Kenny?" asked Farlan, twirling the knife. If he was planning to intimidate him, he should've at least used a polished weapon. No one would be scared with a dirty knife. Especially him, not by a long shot.

The absence of Levi's answer left Farlan with very few options. "Farlan!" Isabel screamed when her friend pointed the knife at the child.

Levi didn't flinch.

Farlan would do what it took to get the job done. He wasn't afraid of getting his hands dirty, but he couldn't just kill an innocent child because they were suspecting him as Kenny's lackey. Though they probably were a couple of dirtbags involved in some very bad things, there were still some things Farlan wouldn't do, and killing some child was one of them.

Levi could tell just by looking at most people what kind of men or women they were. Maybe it was Kenny rubbing off on him. Maybe it was the years he'd spent in dangerous professions, but the bottom line was that having killed on numerous occasions, he recognized that ability in others instantly—the hard, implacable face, the ever-watchful eyes, it was always there. A person familiar with killing wore it like a crown—it was unmistakable.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Levi said without missing any beat. Farlan shot him a look.

"Farlan, stop that." Farlan did not answer Isabel. He simply glowered at Levi.

In the end, he sighed and stored the dirty knife back in his pocket. "I'm sorry. We were just scared. We don't want to go back to that man." It had become quite apparent that Kenny had some exceptional resources at his disposal.

Then Levi saw it— the fear of Farlan's eyes and Isabel's trembling body. Levi couldn't believe it. Once again, Levi was tempted to ram a knife through Kenny's throat, but he kept his rage under control. Because the simple truth was that they were strangers to each other.

There was a storm of emotion raging inside him. Instead of being able to climb out of the blackness of the mystery he'd been dumped in, he found the hole getting deeper.

A soft thumping reverberated inside the room. When the door opened, the three of them were surprised to see who was on the other side of it.

"Section Commander!" Farlan and Isabel straightened their backs and saluted. "Church, your salute is incorrect."

Erwin observed the room, his gaze darted on Isabel and Farlan before facing Levi. If he was suspicious about the reason they were inside Levi's room, he did not show it. Instead, he said, "Levi, come with me."

The Captain cast a last glance at his former comrades before following Erwin.

Instead of or going toward his office, they headed upstairs, on the rooftop of the Survey Corps' headquarters.

"Levi, we found them." Erwin handed the piece of paper, the same way Keith Shadis handed it to him.

With his shaking hands, Levi accepted it and saw the address. They were inside Wall Rose which means they were safe.

"About what I sa—"

"By the order of the Survey Corps' Commander, I have been charged with forgetting everything you said about Eren, Mikasa, and Armin." The statement took Levi by surprise.

" _Everything,"_ said Erwin as he read the expression on Levi's face. " _As long as he is the Commander,_ I'm bound to follow his orders."

There was a smirk on Erwin's face and Levi finally understood what he meant. Then, he just needed to replace him.

A similar smirk appeared on Levi's and he said, "I'll see you then, Section Commander."

"See you then, Levi."

~•~

When Mikasa opened her eyes, all she could see was the color white. Slowly, as her eyes adjusted, she began to make out some blues, as well as the dark color of the distressed-wood floor. A clutch of hand-painted vases was the first object she could actually focus on. From there, the entire room began to open up.

A bunch of blond hair was in her peripheral view and once she twisted her head to get a proper view, the head started to move. Armin's blue eyes met hers.

"Eren! Eren! Mikasa's awake!" He screamed. "Mikasa, are you alright?" Her throat was dry so she nodded her head instead.

In a split second, a frantic Eren clutched her hand. "Be careful, next time!" Eren reprimanded and Mikasa couldn't help but smile. He was indignant yet his hands were so cold with worries.

Memories of titans and dying people flooded her mind as well as his face. "W-where's Levi?" She asked and tried to sit.

Armin quickly stopped her when she almost fell. "You still need to rest, Mikasa. The wound on your forehead was deep."

"Where's Levi?" Mikasa asked again. Eren and Armin looked at each other.

"Please. This is not—"

"Answer my question."

The girl's voice remained calm. "We...we don't know." Armin's answer brought tears to her eyes.

"Mikasa," Eren said as he tried to calm her down. "W-we need to save him," she said between her sobs.

"Save me? Have you seen yourself?"

Suddenly, there was a flash of color. Standing on the doorway, escorted by Survey Corps' soldiers and Grisha was Levi. His hands were crossed above his chest.

Mikasa's sobs became louder and without warning, she ran and tackled Levi into a hug. Her tears and snot were on his shirt and the most peculiar thing was he did not care at all. "I-i'm sorry!" She wept.

Levi caressed her hair. "Idiot, I should be the one apologizing. Please don't hate me, Mikasa," he whispered as she hugged him tighter.

"I don't," she whispered back.

Levi broke out of the hug and wiped away her tears; a smile slowly bloomed between them. "I'm home, Mikasa." 

~•~

_Love was a complicated thing. It was poison; consuming you. Sweet wine for your heart; driving it mad._

_For Captain Levi, love was a nuisance. It was a double-edged sword that he never wanted to wield. It would protect you, at the same time hurt you. The frightening feat was you wouldn't know when it will hit._

_In his world where love was needed the most, he decided to forsake it._

_For what use was love when it would crush you dead._

_On the battlefield, love would just kill you. It was a dangerous weapon that could harm even the strongest soldier. Or in their case, even the girl worth a hundred soldiers was at its mercy._

_"You don't need to apologize, Eren. I know...I know that...w-we could...never," Mikasa uttered, trying to choke back the tears threatening to escape from her eyes._

_Levi closed his eyes. He should go. This was an invasion of privacy. He, most of all, valued the importance of it. Plus, listening to a love confession— a rejection, rather— was the most embarrassing thing ever._

_He kept reprimanding his legs for not following his brain but it wouldn't budge._

_"Mikasa..." Eren sighed, "Let's talk about this some other time, okay?"_

_"N-no. I'm sorry, Eren. I should've not said that. It's a mistake."_

_Levi panicked when he heard Mikasa's footsteps coming on his way. His eyes widened and his breathing quickened. His feet scrambled on trying to get away from the scene._

_"Captain?"_

_"Mika—"_

_It was too late once he registered that there was no solid ground where his foot should step._

_"Captain Levi!" Her hands tried to reach him._

_"Ah," Levi mused. Suddenly, his eyesight sharpened, noticing even the smallest details._

_When did she become so ethereal?_

_When did he start to notice that the night sky was etched permanently on those two orbs?_

_As Captain Levi took his last breath, before his eyes permanently closed, his hand reached out for her._

_He did not want to die..._

_No, he couldn't die._

_He couldn't bear to see her crying like this. Her tears, he needed to wipe away those tears._

_There was screaming, yet it was not enough to distract him from marveling at her._

_How? How did he fail to notice?_

_For love may be poison or a sweet wine but it's also the moonlight basking you, the daisies blossoming, the sun rising, the birds chirping, the wind rustling and on her eyes, the storm brewing; Love is everything._

_In his world where love was needed the most, Captain Levi found it on her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfiction has already 180 kudos? Hooow? You're all so sweet❤️
> 
> Thank you very much for your support! 
> 
> I'm finished with all my exams and projects that's why I'm able to update frequently again. Hope you like this chapter. It's short compared to the previous chapter becauseeeee there's only 2 chapters left before 'Back to you' ends!!!!
> 
> Take care and stay safe everyone!


	15. Bonus chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just remembered that it's Captain Levi's birthday tomorrow, so to celebrate the momentous occasion here's a short bonus chapter.
> 
> This chapter will not affect the overall flow of the story so you can just skip it over. This happened during Levi's stay on Ackerman's house.
> 
> Even though, it was listed as Chapter 15, this would not be the real Chapter 15. The truth is I don't know how to remove the chapter number. So, let's just all pretend that this was not Chapter 15 okay?

It was the second day of Levi's rent-free stay at Mikasa's house and if you'll ask him if he was enjoying it so far then he would probably answer with a ' _tsk_ ' because he's secretly a tsundere.

However, it was due to Mikasa's constant pestering (and her cute pout) that forced him to somehow accept his temporary role as her playmate. As it turned out that the poor child had no friends to play with and because he was benevolent underneath those layers and layers of bruteness, he decided to play along. Maybe, he should be beatified for his benevolence. Such angel this captain was.

Now playing with a child was not his forte at all, heck, playing was not his forte at all. He grew up in harsh conditions where enjoying childhood was a taboo. Instead of kicking balls, he was kicking _balls_. Instead of playing tag, he was running from Kenny's enemies. And instead of doing recreational activities, he was doing something else.

Oh, it was fun times.

"So, I just have to throw and kick this?"

Mikasa nodded her head as she watched Levi inspecting a footbag as if it was his first time seeing one. It was indeed his first time but Mikasa didn't need to know that. Although, he was sure that she was looking at him with pity now. _Hey, you're the one without a friend!_

Saint Levi gracing us with his never-ending kindness.

"You fail if it falls to the ground," she reminded him. "I can do fifty." There was a proud look on her face when she said that.

Levi's eyebrows met in the middle. That should be easy. After all, he was Humanity's Strongest. There was no way that he would lose in Hacky Sack. Right? Seeing that he would look really lame if he did not manage to do this.

"All right. Here I come."

He threw the footbag in the air, his right foot was ready to kick it. His heart was pounding too fast along with the intensity of the atmosphere.

"Ah," they both said while they stare at the footbag he failed to kick. It was on the ground, reminding Levi how pathetic he was for not kicking it, not even once.

Mikasa stifled a laugh and patted his shoulder. "Levi, not everyone could be good at Hacky Sack. No one's perfect."

 _Except me, of course,_ was clearly shown on her face. The audacity of this brat. But, he would not fall back. He was Levi Ackerman, Captain of the Special Ops and Humanity's Strongest. Nothing could kill the burning determination on his heart.

So he picked up the footbag with his dignity and pride on the table. "You can do it, Levi," she cheered while still stifling her jeers for him. He ignored her and stared at the footbag just like what a shounen protagonist would do. The flashbacks of all the humiliation he had playing Hacky Sack (Even though it was his first time playing one) crossed his mind. His practice to perfect his _crimson thunder dragon lightning kick._

He was ready.

He threw the footbag in the air and once again he was reminded that he sucked at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it was short😂
> 
> Anyway, Happy Birthday Captain Levi! I still love you despite your shortcomings lol.


	16. Dreams and more dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my sister, Celine. Without her, I don't think I would ever finish 'Back to You'. Thank you, sis❤️

_ "He's dead." _

_ "Captain Levi, you can't die yet. No." _

_ "Come back, Levi." _

_ "Levi!" _

"Captain Levi."

Levi's head snapped back so suddenly that the shock startled him awake. It took several seconds for his heart rate to slow and for him to recognize where he was.

He looked around the room and saw that everything was just as he'd left it before he drifted off to sleep. The side of the bed he'd intended only to rest his forehead against was still there, as was the bed's occupant, Mikasa.

Levi's eyes scanned the length of her body, searching for any sign that she'd moved during his nap, but Mikasa remained asleep. The wound on her forehead was healing but it would leave a scar. It was because of  _ it _ , because of him, that Mikasa had been hurt. He didn't need any verbal cues to tell him that. He knew it as surely as he knew that Mikasa didn't deserve any of what had happened to her.

He picked up Mikasa's hand and gave it a squeeze. At that moment, everything came flooding out of him. He buried his head in her hair and as she opened her eyes he began to cry.

"Levi? Why are you crying?" she asked softly, afraid that she might retreat to his shell. "I don't know. I'm just tired. So tired."

Physically and emotionally, Levi was wrung out. His nerves had been grated down to stubs. What little reserves of energy he still had were all but depleted. After his reunion with Mikasa, his fatigue won out and he fell into a heavy, dark sleep. And with the sleep came his dreams.

It was the same nightmare he'd been having about Mikasa, but this time it was worse. He dreamed he was standing on a long rope bridge between two groups of people he cared for, each in imminent danger. He could only save one. But instead of making a choice, he stood paralyzed with fear.

His indecision cost him dearly. He helplessly watched as the members of each group were killed one by one, their deaths gleefully carried out by a sadistic demon bent on extracting every ounce of pain-wracked suffering he could. All the while, Levi merely stood and watched, unsure of himself and his ability to do anything to stop the massacre being carried out so savagely in front of him.

Levi removed himself from Mikasa's hair and leaned back in his chair while wiping the salty liquid on his cheeks. Crying was one of the things he hated the most. It showed weaknesses and a guaranteed vulnerability. That's why he preferred to cry alone, away from everyone's prying eyes and expectations.

But Mikasa, her presence alone was enough to make his knees buckled and his eyes misty.

"You should rest," she suggested as she sat on the bed. Levi shook his head with a  _ no.  _ "But you said you're tired."

Levi smiled softly and patted her head. Sometimes he would forget that he was talking to a child. Her innocence was a breath of fresh air in this suffocating and rotten world. "I'm fine, idiot."

"Are you sure? Your eye bags are getting darker." She reached for the area under his eyes and gently caressed it. Before he knew it, Levi already rested his right cheek on her warm palm. "How's your forehead?" he asked with his eyes closed and letting his body relaxed.

When Mikasa retracted her hand, Levi was disappointed a little. "I-it's fine now. Dr. Jaeger said that it might leave a scar."

Levi stood and rummaged through the drawers until he found an antiseptic as well as new bandages. Then he washed his hands diligently on the basin next to her bed. "Your wound looks disgusting," he observed that made Mikasa frowned. She stuck out her tongue like the child she was.

Levi carefully unraveled the dull brown bandages. "Gross," he commented once the bandages were gone. Levi was generous with the antiseptic, igniting her skin with blazing pain. Mikasa winced and jerked back but Levi scolded her and told her to sit still.

"Levi," said Mikasa as she watched him cleaned her wound carefully.

"What?"

"You said to just call you Levi, right?"

"Yes. Much easier," he replied and wrapped a new bandage to her wound. He hummed in approval once he discerned that his handiwork was perfect.

"Don't you have a family name?"

Levi got to his feet and discarded the old bandages

"I don't."

"Then, you can have my family name."

The ten-year-old captain stopped on his tracks and looked at Mikasa incredulously. "W-what?"

The little girl stared back, confused with Levi's reaction.

"I said, you can be an Ackerman. Levi Ackerman sounds better than Just Levi," she explained plainly; she may as well have been discussing the weather.

Levi was speechless for a moment. But then, he laughed. "Hey! Why are you laughing?!"

"I can't believe you're turning me into an Ackerman." His voice was filled with amusement. That, for some reason, Mikasa couldn't look him in the eye.

"So... we can be family."

He returned to his seat, in front of her and said, "Normally, boys give out their surnames. Not the other way around."

"But, you don't have a surname. And we're not getting married. My mother said that once I get married, I'll have my husband's family name."

"Would you like to stay as an Ackerman forever?" He asked out of the blue. He almost punched himself. Where did that come from?

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

"Eh? Tell me!" She pestered him to explain it to her. He answered her with a pinch on her cheek.

Levi did not know what would happen tomorrow but for now, he would content himself by staying beside her.

The reason Levi had cared for her so deeply was that for the first time in his life, he'd found someone who truly understood him for who he was. She saw beyond the constant wisecracks, through the never-ending stream of pessimism, and over the pile of rocks that Levi had stacked to wall himself off from the rest of the world. It was a feeling Levi had never thought he would experience.

As he looked at Mikasa, he knew it was a feeling he would never experience again.

Gently, he twined their hands as the dawn came slowly, followed by the brilliant sky of morning.

"Levi Ackerman, huh," he mused.

~•~

"Where are you going, Dr. Jaeger?"

To say Grisha was surprised to see Levi was an understatement. He pulled up short so quickly, he lost his balance. Levi might have laughed if he hadn't harbored such an intense suspicion for the man.

To his credit, Grisha had a very agile mind. Seeing Levi at the dead of the night, the man summed up the situation very quickly.

"Staying up late is bad for your health, Levi," said Grisha, showing a smile to him.

His demeanor had switched from agitated, almost panicked, to an icy calm.

He was actually surprised to find Grisha still alive and uneaten. At this point, he concluded that Grisha would pass his titan to Eren. Yet, it seemed that the Doctor was not ready to let go of his titan.

Three days had passed since Levi returned from the Survey Corps' custody and it was also the hardest times. Hearing about Carla's death was still surreal for him. He felt so damn responsible for what had happened to her.

But, hearing it from Eren's mouth was strange. His eyes were devoid of their usual glow as he narrated what happened. Levi expected the emptiness, but the burning passion underneath his irises was something he couldn't ignore.

It was not normal.

Nevertheless, he pretended to be in the dark. Then again, he was a subordinate of his and it was his duty to take care of him. For now, he would do his best to guide him.

However, for the last three days of observing the doctor, he noticed his frequent travels. At first, he concluded that it was his way of distancing himself from his son's resentment towards him but going out at night when Eren's asleep? What would be the purpose? The more scenarios he constructed, the further away he felt he was getting from the truth. He thought he knew the doctor pretty well, but this time he couldn't figure him out.

"Sorry, Dr. Jaeger. I'll go to sleep now."

Grisha simply gave him a comforting smile and ruffled his hair. "Good night, Levi." The doctor tipped his hat before going outside.

Levi'd been taught through vigorous experiences how to spot microexpressions, the subtle subconscious clues a subject gives out when he is lying or preparing to do something dishonest. Even the best of Mitras' doublespeak nobles couldn't hide their intentions or the truth from a seasoned Underground thief who knew what to look for. And Levi Ackerman knew what to look for.

For whatever reason, Dr. Grisha Jaeger had been lying to them. Levi was certain of it.

From his vantage point at the windows, Levi watched as the doctor walked up the sidewalk until he disappeared in the dark like a shadow.

Early on, Levi had abandoned the idea of following Grisha— too dark and too many things that could go wrong. His best chance was to wait for his next step.

In the end, there simply was no way for Levi to know. Therefore, he had to adopt the attitude that every action was dubious and ready to drop a dime at a moment's notice. Trying to sneak into him was out of question. He would have to go in bold as brass.

He was getting restless. Anytime someone could die on his watch. And the cruelest thing was he couldn't do anything about it, couldn't save anyone. What was even the purpose of him returning to Year 844 if he couldn't change anything?

It was frustrating to know something but couldn't use it. It was like walking on eggshells. Erwin was supposed to be his trump card but once again, it was snatched from his hand. It was like the whole world was testing him before he would keel over. Like he was a pawn that someone wanted to sacrifice to win the game.

He balled his fists. He may not be able to save Mikasa's parents and Carla but he would make sure that no one would be getting hurt again.

Levi returned to the room they were staying in. In the bed was Mikasa, snoring so peacefully.

On the floor was Eren who's hogging all the blanket, as well as taking Levi's side on the futon. Armin was supposed to stay with them but yesterday an old man, crying, introduced himself as his grandfather and took Armin.

Closing the door, Levi sighed and pushed Eren aside. Once his head rested on his pillow, he closed his eyes. Pieces of his nightmare came back and he fought to banish them to the far reaches of his psyche.

It was working, but he knew the demons would be back. They'd been hovering over him every day and night since the fall of Wall Maria. Only once before had Levi ever been filled with as much doubt and self-loathing as he was now.

"Damn it," he cursed silently. If only he'd stayed dead. Then this would not happen.

~•~

With everything that was happening, you would think that Levi Ackerman was so done with everything right now—which he was, by the way.

Once again, he was back to that peculiar place where the ground was literally glowing. However, the little girl who was guarding the pillar before was replaced by a young man with long hair.  _ Coincidentally,  _ the young man bore an uncanny resemblance to Eren Jaeger. Levi didn't need to be a genius to figure out his identity.

"What is this, Eren?" Levi asked. The question was ambiguous and left hanging in the air. His silence only made the Captain livid. A million and one things sped through Levi's mind, chief among them being,  _ What the fuck? _

If there was one thing that Levi knew about life, it was that it was all about timing, and Eren just plain sucked.

"The last time I saw you, you were nothing more than a very troubled brat. Funny how quickly things change," he recalled but his tone lacked nostalgia. If anything, it was dripping with sarcasm.

Eren simply stared at him before he opened his mouth and said, "Captain Levi, I'm sorry. But it seems like he failed."

He was about to ask what he meant when the place started to shake and everything went black.

~•~

Levi swore that minutes had only passed when he felt someone's hands tapping his cheeks. "Wake up, Levi."

When he opened his eyes, he saw Grisha and on his left shoulder was the sleeping figure of Eren.

"What's happening?" His gaze quickly flew in Mikasa's direction. She was still sleeping like a baby. Perhaps dreaming about something since he could hear some little mumblings coming from her.

"Come with me," Dr. Jaeger ordered. Levi pursed his lips before following him. It was nearing midnight and everyone's asleep already. Even the titans were slumbering. So, where were they going?

His question was immediately answered when they stopped in the woods. His instincts told him to get ready for the danger. Although, what exactly the danger was unknown to him.

Grisha noticed his uneasiness and started to explain the situation, "The Attack Titan could see the future and the past through its successors and predecessors. Eren and I saw how you died. Your death brings disturbances to time that's why Eren tried to save you."

Levi's eyes widened upon realizing everything.

"By turning back my time." It came as a whisper. Every piece of information was swirling inside his head.

"Yes," Grisha confirmed. "Using the Attack Titan and the Coordinate. But, something happened and he sent you back to Year 844 instead, as a ten-year-old. He did not expect this. I—I tried to fix it by getting the Coordinate but I...failed to retrieve it from the Reiss family."

It all made sense now. Grisha knew it all along.

He was frozen on his spot, trying to digest everything Grisha had thrown in his direction. Now that there's an actual explanation for all of this, he couldn't help but feel pissed.

All this time.  _ All this fucking time. _

"Levi you should not be here. You need to return to your previous timeline. Eren's future is in danger. Everyone's future is in danger" Grisha's statement garnered his attention.

"How—how do I?" he muttered.

"You need to help him get the Coordinate."

Levi watched Grisha pulled a familiar syringe containing a fluid that he knew all too well. "I failed as a father. I failed as an Eldian. Levi, forgive me."

He watched from a distance as the doctor injected the fluid into Eren. He watched as he became a pure titan. He watched as Eren devoured his father and when Eren became human again, Levi felt helpless.

~•~

_ "Annie wake up." _

_ "W-where are we?" _

_ "Inside Wall Rose." _

_ "Where's Marcel?" _

_ "He's with Porco. They're getting some food." _

_ "I see." _

_ "You need to rest, Annie. Our plan is about to start." _

_ "Thank you, Bertholdt." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey it's done! Finally!
> 
> Let me take this opportunity to thank all of you for supporting this fanfiction. All your comments and kudos are enough to put a smile to my face.
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed Back to You as much as I enjoyed writing it. It was one hell of a ride >___< I still have a lot to say but I'll just put it to a halt until I'll finish Book 2
> 
> Special Mentions:
> 
> To LadyChisana who created an AO3 account for this fanfiction, I love you so much! I hope that you find this chapter satisfying :))
> 
> To Kira, Happy Birthday! I love youuuuu! Thank you for your lovely comments❤️
> 
> Again, thank you, everyone! See you in Book 2!
> 
> Here's the synopsis for Return to Me (Book 2)
> 
> Confronted by the truth that he is the one responsible for humanity's impending doom, Captain Levi Ackerman must help Eren Jaeger retrieve the Coordinate and return to his original timeline. But with old and new enemies around determined to beat them, it is proven to be a difficult feat; especially when he's starting to see his former subordinate in a different light. With new feelings involved, the stakes are getting higher. Will he choose a timeline with her or save humanity?


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